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Thread: Bad decisions?

  1. #1

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    Bad decisions?

    My boyfriend went swimming with a girl who he used to date for a very short time and she groped him several times while they were swimming even though she knew he had a girlfriend. They were drinking too. He told her to stop and she did but then she drove him home and he let her sleep in his bed. He says nothing happened but I feel so hurt and sad. He keeps saying he's a victim too and that when I say he shouldn't have been drinking or swimming with her that I'm victim blaming. I feel like this whole thing could have been avoided. Now I'm stuck because he thinks he should still be able to be friends with single girls but I want him to stop.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    How did inviting her to share his bed make him a victim?

  3. #3

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    He said he was a victim of her groping him. He acknowledged that he shouldn’t have let her sleep with him, but says he was drunk and tired.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    He's gaslighting you. Google it if you don't know what that means. But basically he's trying to convince you that something is not what it actually is. Also he's flipping the script, where you suddenly are the one who did wrong.

    Your boyfriend wants to fool around with other girls. I think he should be your ex boyfriend after the cheating and the mind games he's playing with you.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    He can be friends with whoever he wants. You can't control or dictate that. However, you can and should judge if his choices align with your values and relationship boundaries. If you find that they don't, you dump him and keep looking for the right guy for you. That's really what dating is for - to learn if the person fits as is, not to fix them or bend them to your ways to force them to fit. If he doesn't fit, next him.

    Him claiming to be a victim....honestly I don't know how you could keep a straight face listening to that bs. That alone is reason to leave him on the curb. He is treating you like a complete fool going out voluntarily drinking and swimming with an ex, claiming nothing happened, and he is a victim....lmao.....

  7. #6
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    His nose is growing.

    Dump this gem of a man.

  8. #7
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    He’s full of equine manure, OP.

  9. #8
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    I wouldn’t believe this to be as ‘innocent’ as he’s making it out to be. He’s definitely Gaslighting.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Oh my...this guy really is heaping the lies onto you. In no way is he a victim. As for being in bed with his ex and not doing anything, there is no way anyone would believe that.
    They definitely did something.

    OP, it will be a harsh lesson to learn, but do not stay with this man. He is a liar and a cheater. His motivations for wanting single women as friends is very sketchy as well.

    Though, you might just do as most do and wait it out until he full blown proves his cheating and lying and then you really will be completely heartbroken.

    I hope you don't do that. He's not a nice guy and he's fooling you.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Also, not all guys are like this. Some are actually respectful and would never consider swimming with their ex and even if they were forced, they wouldn't ever allow to happen what happened.

    Your boyfriend is not a nice guy.

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