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Thread: Think I might be overthinking...

  1. #91
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rb1980
    Good question, to be honest I think a little part of me is afraid of being alone.
    The other part of me wants to learn to accept this relationship for what it is, work with it and make the best I can of it
    But you, for the most part, ARE "alone".

    Or do you mean you can tell yourself you're in a relationship and for some reason that makes you feel better?

  2. #92
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    But you, for the most part, ARE "alone".

    Or do you mean you can tell yourself you're in a relationship and for some reason that makes you feel better?
    Yeah I know I am, maybe it's the feeling of being in one or the hope that this gets better or something, I don't know.

    With regards to your 2nd point, it could be that. I just find it hard right now as over the past couple of weeks I've probably learnt more about how busy her life gets during term time and maybe I'd never given that a thought before so as a result I'm looking to accept it for what it is and hope we slowly spend a little more time together

  3. #93
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I don't know your life history, but what I can't help but wonder? If part of the reason you are so bent on making this work is because you have a past in which something didn't work with kids involved, in that case your own child.

    Like, let's pretend that, instead of this hectic stuff involving her children, it involved her, I don't know, needing to post lots of pictures of beauty products to maintain her status as a social media influencer. Would you be as prone to accommodate it? Would the fear of being alone be so powerful as to commit to something in which you feel, fundamentally, alone inside of it?

  4. #94
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Let us not forget the covid situation and teachers, students and parents being on tenterhooks this month. If I'll play devil's advocate on this I'd say treat her trials with some respect and give some leeway. This month may be completely out of the question for meeting. It may not be until her living situation is settled too.

    On the other hand, I think what you're looking for is a partner who has more time for you. I understand this all too well. Be willing to call a spade a spade then and recognize your needs too.

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  6. #95
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    Yeah it's obviously a stressful time for everyone and she's having to do more than many with 3 kids in tow.
    I do want to respect that she has a lot on it just seems there was a lot on before and it didn't stop her!

  7. #96
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Still trying to go back to how things were before?

    I thought you decided to accept her as she is and make it work.

  8. #97
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    Sorry, poor choice of wording, what I meant was I accept how busy things are now because of school runs and the change of routine etc. I just wouldn't mind a little more interaction.
    In the past it was loads and I know now, it can't match that but just a little more here and there would probably make me feel happier/more comfortable

  9. #98
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    She doesn’t want to give you more than she’s currently giving.

    A relationship with you isn’t her priority.

  10. #99
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rb1980
    Sorry, poor choice of wording, what I meant was I accept how busy things are now because of school runs and the change of routine etc. I just wouldn't mind a little more interaction.
    In the past it was loads and I know now, it can't match that but just a little more here and there would probably make me feel happier/more comfortable
    So again, you are trying to get back to the way things used to be.

    It's ok if the amount of attention and time you're getting isn't enough. But trying to pry it out of her just isn't going to work.

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