Jump to content

So... confessed attraction, she didint respond, but...


Lauralatifa

Recommended Posts

But she does things that sincerily i wouldnt with a platonic friend, specially one that felt attracted to me once.

Like, for example, showing me a picture of her naked breast. She wanted to ask me if they were weird, so she sent me a picture.

Im trying to racionalize, but i dont think this is appropiate for friends... i dont know... i believe she wants an ego boost in my expense, but maybe im wrong. But if i am not, what should i do?

Link to comment
i believe she wants an ego boost in my expense, but maybe im wrong.

 

I think you are probably correct.

 

If I recall your previous thread, she didn't exactly respond enthusiastically when you said you have feelings for her. You might have to summon up the courage to simply ask her how she feels, OP. It might not be the answer you're hoping for, but at least you will not need to guess anymore.

Link to comment
I have never shown my friends any part of me.

 

I also suggest you give a lot more info. Your post has little for us to go on.

 

We’ve been friends for 2 years, very close friends... but o always had sexual interest... she knew that when we met, but as we got closer i decided to ignore it. But durona social distancing it is becoming very hard to ignore, and maybe im needy right now... anyway, i sometimes feel sexual tension between us, and have noticed she invades my personal space. Like once we were sitting next to each other and her leg was between mine. And strangers always think we are a couple. Some friends accused her of flirting with me in the past and she said she wasnt attracted to me. And when i said i felt attracted to her, she responded with awkward silence. Also, she was into a guy and got dumped, so maybe she was needing an ego boost?

Link to comment
We’ve been friends for 2 years, very close friends... but o always had sexual interest... she knew that when we met, but as we got closer i decided to ignore it. But durona social distancing it is becoming very hard to ignore, and maybe im needy right now... anyway, i sometimes feel sexual tension between us, and have noticed she invades my personal space. Like once we were sitting next to each other and her leg was between mine. And strangers always think we are a couple. Some friends accused her of flirting with me in the past and she said she wasnt attracted to me. And when i said i felt attracted to her, she responded with awkward silence. Also, she was into a guy and got dumped, so maybe she was needing an ego boost?

 

She is telling you the truth that you don't want to hear - your attraction to her is completely one sided.

 

Overall, you can't really be friends with someone you want more from precisely because of what's happening. You desperately want more and try to read something into nothing and in the end, this is hurting you and stopping you from finding someone who actually wants to be with you.

 

The other part of that is that yes, people will use you as an ego boost when they know that you are attracted to them, they aren't to you, but you continue to hang around. It creates this unbalanced and toxic dynamic, which will just lead to more pain and confusion for you.

 

Step back from this friendship long enough that your crush dies off or even permanently if you must. It's the only way forward that will allow you to actually find what you crave - a real relationship with someone who is into you. The way you are stuck in this messy situation now....it makes it impossible, a vicious cycle and you must break it and break away from it to get what you so want. It just won't be with her in particular, but to find that someone special, you have to get rid of her and open up to that someone else.

Link to comment
Yes, I think this girl enjoys your affection and attention but is not into you that way.

 

Just to clarify - looking at your username, are you a woman as well?

I agree with the wise MissCanuck.

 

This girl is feeing the benefits of your attention and interest. She is teasing you and exploiting your feelings.

 

She sounds very young. Is she? Are you?

 

good people don't play with other people's feelings like this. She's not really a great friend.

Link to comment
I agree with the wise MissCanuck.

 

This girl is feeing the benefits of your attention and interest. She is teasing you and exploiting your feelings.

 

She sounds very young. Is she? Are you?

 

good people don't play with other people's feelings like this. She's not really a great friend.

 

Yes. She is 21, and im 26. But what if she is doing this unconsciously? I know her and i know she wouldnt do it on purpúreo...

Link to comment
She is telling you the truth that you don't want to hear - your attraction to her is completely one sided.

 

Overall, you can't really be friends with someone you want more from precisely because of what's happening. You desperately want more and try to read something into nothing and in the end, this is hurting you and stopping you from finding someone who actually wants to be with you.

 

The other part of that is that yes, people will use you as an ego boost when they know that you are attracted to them, they aren't to you, but you continue to hang around. It creates this unbalanced and toxic dynamic, which will just lead to more pain and confusion for you.

 

Step back from this friendship long enough that your crush dies off or even permanently if you must. It's the only way forward that will allow you to actually find what you crave - a real relationship with someone who is into you. The way you are stuck in this messy situation now....it makes it impossible, a vicious cycle and you must break it and break away from it to get what you so want. It just won't be with her in particular, but to find that someone special, you have to get rid of her and open up to that someone else.

 

I totally agree... when i think about it, one of the things i would like to have done differently is not accepting to be friends with someone im into. That was my mainly mistake. And its good to acknolegde its an unhealthy relation. This rejection and the power dinamics in the friendship makes me feel ugly, unattractive, silly...

i do need to end the friendship. Im just worried because she is the only friend i see during this social distancing...

Link to comment
Do you know if she is gay or bi or out of the closet? Does she think you're just friends?

 

She is bi, and yes, she thinks we are just friends. Its so bad for me, i introduce friends to her and sometimes she gets attracted to some (because all my friends are so beautiful

There is another detail, im in a non monogamic long distance relationship and she knows that. She is always criticizind this person im with.

And when we met she noticed i was hitting on her and told my friend she thought i was amazing but wasnt looking for casual dating, just serious relationships. Was that an excuse to not say she wasnt attracted to me?

Link to comment

Just let things be for awhile and avoid talking with her or meeting with her if it's awkward. I think you're asking for trouble hanging around someone who mocks you or treats you so casually when what you're looking for is something more. She doesn't seem like much of a friend to me.

Link to comment

In some ways, she is being a very typical 21 year old - testing out her powers, flirting, messing about, doing a lot of growing up (hopefully), figuring out who she is and what she wants.

 

It may seem like 21 to 26 is not a big deal, but it's a massive life stage/life experience difference. Five years is not a big deal later on in life or in a different direction like 26 to 31, but in this particular situation it's a huge deal. So what I'm saying is that no, she isn't necessarily being mean to be mean, but she is kind of playing games because that's where she is at and that's what many do at that age.

 

I also think that when push comes to shove, she really has been very very clear that she is not into you and so you really must walk away for your own sake and well being. She isn't your only friend or social source when you are the one introducing her to other friends you have. High time for you to shift your focus because this is really unhealthy and you know it. It won't get better until you disconnect from her. You really do deserve better and a proper relationship with a woman who loves you instead of on who jerks you around. Think about that...ok?

Link to comment

Even with all the added information, OP, I still think she's a young and (naturally) immature girl who likes your attention - but doesn't want to date you.

 

For your own emotional well-being, I would put some space between you two. It's getting too complicated and you're likely to wind up hurt. It will suck especially if she's one of the only people in your "bubble" during this pandemic, but I don't see another option that doesn't involve more confusion and hurt feelings for you.

Link to comment

Unfortunately this is why it's confusing. It's too nebulous in terms of others you're seeing and what exactly the terms and conditions are with regard to her. If she thinks you're friends then she is acting in that manner.

She is bi, and yes, she thinks we are just friends.
Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...