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Thread: My Husband Purchased a Sex Doll - Thoughts?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    To be honest, it sounds as though he wants more excitement than what is going on between you and him, so instead of cheating, he is using the next best thing.
    He can pretend it's a real woman, get his jollies off and still stay loyal to his marriage.

    It would depend on the person if they would accept this, or not. I think many women would have issue with it, as no one would want their man getting excited over another woman (even a plastic one).
    However, if you are okay with it, at least he's getting satisfied and not actually cheating with a real life woman?

    It's up to you though on what you can deal with, or not. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #22
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher

    It would depend on the person if they would accept this, or not. I think many women would have issue with it, as no one would want their man getting excited over another woman (even a plastic one).

    Sherry--My coffee just hit the screen. Dying...

  3. #23
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It's the first time I ever used that sentence in my life.

  4. #24
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    OP, please know that I say this for your own good and out of care for you.

    From all your threads, I'm sorry to tell you that your husband just doesn't seem to be happy in this marriage. I'm not saying it's you or that you are doing anything wrong. I'm saying there's something inside him that feels unfulfilled.

    Honestly, he's showing all the classic signs of my ex. Having "friendly" overnight stays with another woman, acting like she's just a friend. Always depressed. Making excuses to not share everything with you.

    Don't mistake him TELLING you about the doll for honesty. He hasn't told you the real reason he has it or WHY he needs to keep it locked up since he DID tell you. He may be "practicing" but I don't think it's for you.

    You have two kids together, so I know you want this to work. However, I think with all the consistent issues you've had with him, I don't know that counseling will make much of a difference at this point.
    Doesn't mean you still can't try, that's just my opinion. I wish I had someone kind enough to tell me my first husband was never going to change and save me YEARS of heartache and depression.

    I think you honestly have two choices. 1. Stay with him and accept that he is never going to be fully happy with you and is likely to hide things from you. 2. Get a divorce and find a man who seems capable of being happy and content with you.

    IMVHO, he's the type of guy who doesn't really know what he wants. He's trying to force himself to want something that he doesn't ( marriage and kids and a 9-5) but he's not really happy with any of it. You can try counseling, but counseling won't make him want something that in his heart he does not want or does not make him happy. Maybe he thought it would, but it just isn't. I say this not to be cruel, just to give you a honest perspective. I personally think you deserve SO much more than what this man is either incapable or unwilling to give you.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately he relates to inanimate objects better than living things or people with feelings. He is abusive. Maybe his doll is the best partner for him.
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    "Lately his behavior has really escalated. The last week has been especially bad. Yesterday we had to go to a family gathering and he got the worst road rage I've ever seen and was screaming obscene things and kept saying he was going to crash the car. I was terrified and begged him to turn around but he wouldn't. Thank God we didn't get in an accident. Then he put on a happy face for his family but again on the way home had terrible road rage. When we got home the cat was sick with diarrhea and he was cursing and screaming at the cat and threatening to kick it out into the woods. This is a cat he normally loves and has had for 10 years and has been his constant companion. Luckily I was able to save the cat...for today anyway."

  7. #26
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    What Redswim said:

    "I wish I had someone kind enough to tell me my first husband was never going to change and save me YEARS of heartache and depression.
    "


    What are you going to do OP?

    Can you not see how outlandish all this looks to an outsider?

    I suppose, OP,you could purchase a male "doll", with all the enhanced accoutrements. Stand it in the corner of the bedroom, staring vacantly at you both, or all four of you at the dinner table. It sure would be different. Mr. Hitchcock would have a field day.
    Last edited by LaHermes; 08-26-2020 at 06:45 PM.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by redswim30
    OP, please know that I say this for your own good and out of care for you.

    From all your threads, I'm sorry to tell you that your husband just doesn't seem to be happy in this marriage. I'm not saying it's you or that you are doing anything wrong. I'm saying there's something inside him that feels unfulfilled.

    Honestly, he's showing all the classic signs of my ex. Having "friendly" overnight stays with another woman, acting like she's just a friend. Always depressed. Making excuses to not share everything with you.

    Don't mistake him TELLING you about the doll for honesty. He hasn't told you the real reason he has it or WHY he needs to keep it locked up since he DID tell you. He may be "practicing" but I don't think it's for you.

    You have two kids together, so I know you want this to work. However, I think with all the consistent issues you've had with him, I don't know that counseling will make much of a difference at this point.
    Doesn't mean you still can't try, that's just my opinion. I wish I had someone kind enough to tell me my first husband was never going to change and save me YEARS of heartache and depression.

    I think you honestly have two choices. 1. Stay with him and accept that he is never going to be fully happy with you and is likely to hide things from you. 2. Get a divorce and find a man who seems capable of being happy and content with you.

    IMVHO, he's the type of guy who doesn't really know what he wants. He's trying to force himself to want something that he doesn't ( marriage and kids and a 9-5) but he's not really happy with any of it. You can try counseling, but counseling won't make him want something that in his heart he does not want or does not make him happy. Maybe he thought it would, but it just isn't. I say this not to be cruel, just to give you a honest perspective. I personally think you deserve SO much more than what this man is either incapable or unwilling to give you.
    I really appreciate this perspective. From where we were a few years ago we have made progress. However, like you said he never seems fully happy or fulfilled. I know he has always struggled with depression and anxiety, but it isn't an excuse for the lack of communication and honesty. Even if this was just a fetish for him I'd be ok with that, but I definitely feel he is holding something back, especially to the point that he is keeping it in a locked trunk.

    I have some thinking to do. I know this isn't healthy (hence therapy) and at a certain point how much more can you give...even when you love someone.

  9. #28
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    He actually did suggest I get a Male version for when we can't have sex and I said no freaking way and that I think it is insanely creepy to hump a doll...definitely agree he must have a fantasy to have sex with someone else and this is how he is acting it out. If it were really for me, he wouldn't be so veiled about it.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    Can I ask, when will he be having sex with this doll?
    When you and your children are home? When you are all asleep? When you guys are watching a movie & he goes out to "do things in the garage' ?
    This is just way too creepy for me & I would be gone

  11. #30
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    He is veiled, because cheating in any form, real woman or plastic, is about lies and deceit. Duping you or others is what is making him hard. It's also a character/personality issue no amount of therapy can ever fix, although it can teach him how to drive it better underground, aka lie better.

    At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself - is this acceptable to you? How much are you willing to minimize who you are as a person, your needs in order to hang on to him? Also, how far are you willing to go to normalize his behaviors? What is acceptable to you and where/when do you stop? There is no right or wrong answer here, only what is right for you as this is your life to live.

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