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Thread: One week of NC has been hard

  1. #1
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    One week of NC has been hard

    Hey guys,

    This has been hard for me. Last week, I broke up with my girlfriend. The week before, she said she needed space. She said she wanted to learn how to be alone but yet she still wanted to me with me.

    After a few days of giving her space, I decided to end it. She did have some questionable behaviors. As if she was already pulling away.

    I broke up with her the day before she went to the cottage with her girlfriends. We gave each other our stuff back and had a serious talk. She told me she wanted to be happy and to learn how to be alone. She felt as if I was smothering her, which I would have agreed on because of COVID. (I was bored and laid off at home.)

    Continuing on with the break up, I asked her if she even wanted to be with me. She said "I don't know" and that was enough of an answer for me because I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. I told her wish she had told me that I was smothering her because I would have done my best to try to work things out but she never communicated with me.

    Anyways, coming to the end of the conversation. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead telling good luck and I wish her the best in life. I told her that I wish she would be happy and find someone that can make her happy because she is such an amazing person and she deserves it. I told her that her friends and sister are amazing. I even said if this relationship had continued, her sister would have been one of my closest friends.

    She reciprocated pretty much what I said. She told me i am such an amazing guy. I deserve the best. That i am funny and stuff like that.

    Gave her a hug and a kiss to the forehead.

    I cried and she KINDA cried.

    This 1 week of no contact has been hard.

  2. #2
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    Iím so sorry. It sounds like you did the right thing because you should be with someone who knows they want you. Im glad it ended amicably for the both of you.

    It will be hard for awhile but it will get much easier with time.

    Hang in there!

  3. #3
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    Thank you for the kind words. I still want her in my life but I can't force someone to love me. It hurts and I will get over it. I just need time.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I'm sorry crazyguy123. I hope time will heal your old wounds someday. This too shall pass.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    I'm sorry crazyguy123. I hope time will heal your old wounds someday. This too shall pass.
    Think i'd still have ashot with her?

    Think she'd come back around?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Don't second guess yourself - you did the right thing and made the right choice. Of course, making the right choice is hard. It often is. Actually kudos to you for showing some spine and self respect and breaking up amicably in a timely way rather than turning this into an on again off again toxic mess.

    You don't want a shot with someone who is not that into you. Full stop.

    As for now, of course it's hard, but understand that some of that hard is just the pain of replacing old habits with new. You were used to chatting, texting, sharing, doing certain things, whatever - you are going to miss that terribly. However, you can also help yourself to make it a bit easier by focusing and forcing yourself to do something else when that pain is really biting you. Call a friend when you are craving to chat, read something, do something else. In time, you'll find that it gets easier, you'll miss these things less and eventually you'll find that you no longer think about her at all. How long that takes is individual, so don't pressure yourself to be over her, but don't fixate on pining for her either. Just keep marching steadily forward.

    Deep down you know you deserve a woman who knows she wants you and she is out there for sure. Quite frankly, there are only billions of women in this world, so there is more than one or two who'd want you for real. The one who doesn't....eh....you let her free and with that you free yourself too to seek better.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by crazyguy123
    Think i'd still have ashot with her?

    Think she'd come back around?
    I'm sorry. The answer is no. That ship has sailed. She has moved on as should you.

    Don't expect nor anticipate and you won't get hurt or at least you'll decrease the pain.

  9. #8
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    I think if you ask someone, "Do you want to be with me?" And they say: "I don't know." Basically that is a no. If they love you and want you, they wouldn't actually leave you. They would know they want to be with you. So as everyone else said, you did the right thing. You need to find someone who's crazy about you and not going to let you go so easily. I know it really hurts now but as time goes on you'll feel better and you'll find someone else. It doesn't mean this loss is not painful but once you go through the break-up grief, you'll feel better.

  10. #9
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    You sound like a very well grounded individual and I congratulate you for how well you have handled things so far.
    Keep on being you and you will absolutely find someone just as amazing as you are!

    Yes itís hard atm but you will come out of this better for it!
    No turning back just keep going forward!

    Best of luck!!!

  11. #10
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    Sorry to hear it, OP.

    It's hard when you know the other person just isn't into it anymore. You're doing the right thing, and there will be happier days ahead when you heal.

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