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Thread: My mom will be pissed if I meet my dad's new girlfriend

  1. #21
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    Actually, I realised that OP may also be a guy, as they didn't mention what gender they were. And I keep calling them a "she". My apologies lol

  2. #22
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Your father is the bad guy here, not his GF. But your mom attacks her because she was the outsider, just the way things go. You have to put your foot down with your mother. You are an adult, you have every right to have a relationship with your father. Whatever happened between your parents is between them, not you. You can tell your mom, you refuse to pick sides. Yes it was terrible what happened, but there is no use in carrying on with this hate. Time to move the f on. You can tell her you are not dismissing her feelings about what happened, but it's not fair to you, that it dictates how you wish to live your life.....and that is having a civil relaitonship with your father. It has to be your choice, not hers.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    But what is the crappiest here and it's hard to deny, is that you are now in the position that you will have to choose who you hurt. It's not a fair position for you to be in.

    The choice is to stay away from the gf and your dad will not be happy, or meet the gf and your mom will be hurt.

    I'm sorry you have to make this choice.

    My advice remains the same. Tell your dad you will still meet with him but not the gf. Your mom has had enough hurt already and if your dad wanted things to be nice, he shouldn't have cheated.

    I wish you the best of luck, OP. I am sorry you're forced into this position.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Yes, IAG. That's the bottom line.

    "Do you want to meet this lady? How do you feel about her, if anything at all?
    "


    OP, if you don't wish to meet her (out of personal choice not to do so) then don't. Keep it simple, always.

    And remember, you can't please all of the people all of the time.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    What, exactly do you WANT to do?

    If you don't want to meet the woman, then tell Dad why, and don't meet her.

    If you do want to meet the woman, do so, and let the chips fall. Don't volunteer the information. If Mom finds out on her own and gives you a hard time about it, you can be kind even while you uphold your position.

    Nobody has a right to impose their wishes on you. Kindly raise that as your go-to position, and whoever doesn't like it is an adult and capable of reconciling that for themselves.

    Head high, and do what YOU want to do.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Nobody has a right to impose their wishes on you. Kindly raise that as your go-to position, and whoever doesn't like it is an adult and capable of reconciling that for themselves.

    Head high, and do what YOU want to do.
    So well put.

    I would say that what I've bolded is one of the most important, and most beautiful, lessons a parent can teach their child. Unfortunately, in your case, it appears it's something you'll have to learn and cultivate elsewhere in order to establish the kind of relationship with each of your parents that serves your truth, not theirs.

  8. #27
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    I would not want to meet the woman who your dad cheated on with. But that's just me..... Since he cheated on your mom, it may be only a matter of time because he cheats on the former mistress-now-legit-girlfriend. If it were me, I would not form a relationship with her and bide the time until she is gone, too.

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