Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 41

Thread: Pre-date phone call - Advice please

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    52,004
    Originally Posted by FirstDates
    Haha, only because I really donít like French accents!

    I just donít really see it as time saving I guess. My time is wasted on person or via phone.
    I am still in touch with a couple of the guys I met but didn't click with to date. One of them has helped us a lot with computer issues (and he's just a good guy and fun to talk to), and it was good to meet new people. Some men completely wasted my time because they lied or didn't show up for the date/went MIA after we planned to meet. That was a waste of my time.

  2. #22
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    230
    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    If you look at it as "wasting time" then pretty much every phone call will inevitably end up being awkward and go south quickly. You are pretty much setting yourself up to fail before you even start. Might want to work on simply adjusting your attitude to be a bit more flexible and open minded about communication, be it phone, text, or in person.

    If you are picking up the phone already with the attitude of this is going to be a waste of time, then it will be. If you pick up the phone with an open mind to get to know the person a little bit, at least briefly, then it will be much more smooth and pleasant. How you set yourself up mentally is how it will pan out for you.
    Iím not say it is going to be a waste of time, you misunderstand me. Iím saying a bad phone call is equally a waste of time (IMO) as a bad in person meet up. I see zero benefit to this prescreen process! Itís not like axe murders say Redrum every third word and Ted Bundy probably sounded magnificent over the phone as well!

    Iím hoping it is good and leads to a good in person meeting.

    Because what if he has a sexy French accent (like wiseman likes) doesnít use a spittoon in the background but reeks to high heaven because he doesnít actually shower in real life? What has one really learned in that phone call?

    Iím going to be fine, Iíll put my best foot forward obviously!
    Last edited by FirstDates; 08-05-2020 at 07:17 PM.

  3. #23
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    230
    Originally Posted by waffle
    How demeaning to view someone else as a "waste of time." Why not just meet people and if you don't click or there are dealbreakers that present during the meeting, then chalk it up to experience and move on? I mean really if you are so busy that one whole hour out of your life is spent with someone that you don't ultimately end up with is a "waste of time" then stop doing this and focus on another aspect of your life where your time can be better spent.
    Iím only saying Iíd happily waste two hours to meet in person and give it the best chance for authenticity verses a half hour to do a possibly less authentic or less successful phone conversation.

    Iíd be willing to invest more time, fuel, effort to give myself or the person I was getting to know the best platform for success (within reason). Thatís just me and my opinion.

  4. #24
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    230
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I am still in touch with a couple of the guys I met but didn't click with to date. One of them has helped us a lot with computer issues (and he's just a good guy and fun to talk to), and it was good to meet new people. Some men completely wasted my time because they lied or didn't show up for the date/went MIA after we planned to meet. That was a waste of my time.
    Iíve never been stood upó that would be a HUGE waste of time! Was there a correlation between phone calls first and being stood up or not?

  5.  

  6. #25
    Gold Member waffle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    suburban Detroit
    Age
    54
    Posts
    534
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by FirstDates
    Iím only saying Iíd happily waste two hours to meet in person and give it the best chance for authenticity verses a half hour to do a possibly less authentic or less successful phone conversation.

    Iíd be willing to invest more time, fuel, effort to give myself or the person I was getting to know the best platform for success (within reason). Thatís just me and my opinion.
    I understand that and I agree.

    There seems to be an underlying theme amongst some of the posts here that you talk on the phone with people in order to rule them out. I don't quite understand that mindset.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,100
    Gender
    Male
    Yes 22% of the time 44% will get stood up if you fart on the phone or text with 66% too many acronyms.

    7 out of 9 will not date you if you use a spittoon.9 out of 10 will not date you if you sound like a 5 pack a day smoker.

    33% will want to get off the phone after 23.47 min. 27% will end the call if you slur your speech. 56% will ask you to come over for booty call if you slur your speech

    So overall it's a crap shoot whether the call goes well.
    Originally Posted by FirstDates
    Was there a correlation between phone calls first and being stood up or not?

  8. #27
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    230
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Yes 22% of the time 44% will get stood up if you fart on the phone or text with 66% too many acronyms.

    7 out of 9 will not date you if you use a spittoon.9 out of 10 will not date you if you sound like a 5 pack a day smoker.

    33% will want to get off the phone after 23.47 min. 27% will end the call if you slur your speech. 56% will ask you to come over for booty call if you slur your speech

    So overall it's a crap shoot whether the call goes well.
    Bahaha, And 9 of it 10 dentists agree that this is 100% funny.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Somewhere Out There
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,002
    Gender
    Female
    I understand your concern because you do have to meet in person to really get a sense of somebody. Iíve had great conversations beforehand then when we met up it was awful and awkward!

    I think though because of the pandemic you do have to be careful. Itís come down too if the person is worth dating and risking your health. So meeting in person right now isnít that viable.

    You take a gamble really if you talk or meet. You could luck out and have a great conversation, if not, you just hang up. Itís easier to hang up then walk out on a meeting face to face. The guy could follow you etc...

    Where as with phone: Hang up, block and delete. Just think of it that way for now.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    California
    Posts
    11,186
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I once had a phone convo with a man who was also having a separate conversation much of our 20 minute conversation - with his hamster. Baby talk, etc. I declined to meet him. A few years later I was dating someone who told me one of his female friends had just started dating a guy who was basically obsessed with his hamster. yup. same guy. I think they're still happily married. Cover for every pot I guess....
    OMG. I'm laughing.

    I vote for the pre meet phone call.

    I've had every experience. Funny, articulate and engaging to intoxicated, mysogistic and not so bright.

    In my experience, people tend to be more transparent when there's still that level of anonymity on the phone. They lead either personally rather then their actual presense or looks.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    52,004
    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    OMG. I'm laughing.

    I vote for the pre meet phone call.

    I've had every experience. Funny, articulate and engaging to intoxicated, mysogistic and not so bright.

    In my experience, people tend to be more transparent when there's still that level of anonymity on the phone. They lead either personally rather then their actual presense or looks.
    Another favorite. Years ago. Guy gave me his cell number. I always asked for their number so I could block my landine (I had no cell) - I dialed and said hello and explained who I was:

    Him: WHO GAVE YOU THIS NUMBER?????
    Me: You did.

    (I believe the story was -as the phone call, not his profile, revealed, that he was married in a green card arrangement).

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •