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Thread: Completely lost and unhappy with myself

  1. #11
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    I feel that you feel lost.. you have lost yourself... Maybe?

    How about not paying so much attention to social media.. But focus more on YOU.
    How about hobbies? crafts.. baking etc.
    I have been okay & comfy at home learning to crochet again - thanks to youtube :)
    Plus gathering a good amt of berries to try & make jam.

    How about YOU?
    Have some down time and learn how to be okay on your own.. go for nature walks.

    as for a home.. is all up to you. Nothing wrong with getting yourself established and comfy.. Make it your own :).
    My brother did that.. had a place on the go- before he ever married & had a woman move in with him.

    No expectations in regards to a relationship. If you feel lonely or desperate, dont pay attention to that!
    would do you some good to be okay alone again.. to focus more on YOU.
    Never feel you have to be involved.

    I rather be in that position than be contiously messed around :(.
    So, I am fine on my own.. I dont have the drive or energy to take on a relationship.. may never again...( my choice)

    So, take your time.. keep working on yourself.. and let things slow down as you get yourself back together again.. in a healthy manner, mentally & emotionally.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Do you really think being in a relationship equals "being happy"? Is that what you think? Im going to tell you a secret. I bet that half of the friends you have that in a relationship are not happy being in a relationship and would gladly change positions with you.
    There are lots of issues going on but you have believed and married the image that being with someone means you are happy. So a question would be... were you happy in your last relationship? Heck no you weren't. You were all over the place.. Remember that she dumped you a few times, she told you that she didn't see a future with you.. Remind me again if the X went back to the other guy? So if you were not happy in that relationship when why have you equated being a couple equals happiness?
    Sometimes people want to be in a relationship because it is a beautiful distraction. Rather than focusing on your life you want to focus on someone else because its easy. Rather than working on your own issues you would rather be the person to help someone work on theirs. You want a distraction from your own esteem issues and personal problems. And then you add that you miss feeling 'needed'. So you have issues you are avoiding, you have esteem issues you refuse to work on, you make excuses on why you cant do things and you want someone to need you. Im going to tell you one of the secrets of attracting someone.
    If you refuse to work hard to make you happy, then what incentive does a girl have to make you happy? If a woman sees that you are doing nothing for your happiness then what makes you think you are going to work hard to make her happy? A lot of women don't want to date a project. Who knows maybe you can find the ones that do want one, but for the most part, they wont want someone they have to constantly work on to make the guy they are dating happy.
    Being in a relationship is adding or enhancing someone elses happiness. Its not to "make" them happy, its to add to it.
    Now, I don't know if you are still hung up on your X, maybe you are still in a level of denial, I don't know, but what I do know is that you let your emotions guide your actions. You also use them as a crutch and you use them as an excuse. If you don't like something in your life, then if you can change it, then change it. No excuses. NO where does it say you cant move out unless you buy a house. So why don't you move out to your own place or live with roommates? No one said you have to be in love to buy a house and if you are waiting to buy a house with someone, its going to be years. You are going to scare the heck out of a woman if you mention on the first date that you want to buy a house with her in mind.
    In a nut shell, you have to work on you first. As you see the course you are taking now by avoiding it has gotten you no where so do what is needed to make YOU happy. Once you learn how to make YOU happy, then you will know and be better prepared to make OTHERS happy.

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