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Thread: Things moved to fast? Now what?

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    When all is said and done, we don't have a set answer for you. This is just something you will have to navigate. I think you already know that you need to talk to her. If you are still interested in exploring this, invite her out to do some acitivity. Assure her that you are interested in her as an individual, but in the meantime agree that maybe it moved too fast and for the time being stay out of the bedroom.
    . . .side note, not sure why one would think being naked in bed and mutually satisfying each other is somehow any different then penetration. It's still an act of being sexually intimate and with that comes some responsibility on both your parts. It's not like it wouldn't count.
    You are right. Iím not sure if there is any one specific thing. All I know is that there is some degree of hesitation or being unsure about her that was really exposed last night.

    I feel absolutely terrible about what happened as a result. Should I just be honest about the fact I was feeling unsure and got swept up in the passion of the moment? Thatís the truth, right or wrong. Do you think I should just call her tonight to discuss? I honestly feel sick about it.

    Seeing her exclusively wouldnít necessarily be a bad thing as some have said just to figure things out. I donít know I just feel like Iím going to throw up Iím so disgusted by myself. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #32
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dmveep
    You are right. Iím not sure if there is any one specific thing. All I know is that there is some degree of hesitation or being unsure about her that was really exposed last night.

    I feel absolutely terrible about what happened as a result. Should I just be honest about the fact I was feeling unsure and got swept up in the passion of the moment? Thatís the truth, right or wrong. Do you think I should just call her tonight to discuss? I honestly feel sick about it.

    Seeing her exclusively wouldnít necessarily be a bad thing as some have said just to figure things out. I donít know I just feel like Iím going to throw up Iím so disgusted by myself.
    Instead of calling her, invite her out. Talk to her in person. It shows a genuine intention of getting things on the right track. A phone call like that might seem like an ending rather than airing things out.
    Don't be so hard on yourself. Noone forced the other person to do something against their will. She invited you into her bed. She shares equal responsibility for her own self care, emotionally and physically.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dmveep
    You are right. Iím not sure if there is any one specific thing. All I know is that there is some degree of hesitation or being unsure about her that was really exposed last night.

    I feel absolutely terrible about what happened as a result. Should I just be honest about the fact I was feeling unsure and got swept up in the passion of the moment? Thatís the truth, right or wrong. Do you think I should just call her tonight to discuss? I honestly feel sick about it.

    Seeing her exclusively wouldnít necessarily be a bad thing as some have said just to figure things out. I donít know I just feel like Iím going to throw up Iím so disgusted by myself.
    ....Turn the volume down on the drama button. Good grief....

    She was the one who invited you into her bed and the one who lead that whole dance. Give her some credit for knowing what she is doing, along with understanding consequences like the adult she is.

    Don't treat others like children and don't be so self important and arrogant. You both had fun, if you feel the need to clear the air about where you really stand, then do so, but not in this dramatic, self important, omg I feel such guilt and whatever manner. Geez....give her some credit that she wasn't born yesterday and that this isn't her first rodeo either. She did what she wanted so you need to calm down....a lot. This kind of self flagellating makes me question just how fit you are to date, let alone be in a relationship of any kind.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    By the sounds of your posts she is ok to sleep with, but not attractive enough to date?

    If this is the case break up with her now.

    No girl wants a guy who doesnt know if she will become attractive to him.

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  6. #35
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    I think after only five dates you don't actually owe anyone exclusivity. It's also hard to exactly know if she meant exclusivity as in, don't sleep with other people, or don't actually date other people. Some people don't feel comfortable sleeping with someone who sleeps with others for safety reasons or just they don't feel good about the idea. But maybe they don't necessarily want exclusivity in the sense that you're not allowed to talk to other people on online dating or go on dates with others. I think in the very least you should clarify that part.

    To be honest it doesn't sound like you're really into this girl. I don't know how attraction can grow more after you've been making out with her a lot and you even had sex. This is probably as good as attraction actually gets. You should know now if you have physical and sexual chemistry. I mean yeah her mouth knows how to pleasure a penis so you found it good from purely a sensational perspective. But you don't sound that taken with the sex or her overall. I probably wouldn't waste her time any further if you're not really feeling it.

    Although if you do end it maybe do it in person and try to be very gentle. It doesn't feel nice if you just had sex and you immediately get dumped. Coz then it just looks like the person just used you for sex.

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