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Thread: Am I cursed or just born to be miserable?

  1. #11
    I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I get it. I'm single as well and have been for a while. Most of my friends are married with families and I see all the happy posts on social media as well which make me long for that. And it's true that most people just post the happy moments and leave out the hard moments, but still, it can get into your head sometimes.

    One thing that I've learned in my life is that if we look to others for our happiness, we will always come up lacking. Even if those others are really great and inspirational people. God is the only one who can bring real joy. Happiness comes and goes. But joy can be found even in the hard moments. The Bible says "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you." The focus should be on God and His righteousness. And sometimes that's hard... especially when you're feeling single and lonely and just want a different life. So in those times, it takes discipline. Discipline to stay in God's Word and in prayer even when you don't feel like it.

    I find that I like to do Bible studies... ones that you actually have a book where you write out your answers. It helps me to focus and I find them really interesting. There are a lot of good ones out there. I've done several by Kelly Minter over the past couple of years. She's also a single woman and I find her very relatable and funny. She has videos to go with her studies as well. There are other good ones, too. I used to do a lot of Beth Moore but haven't done hers in a while. Priscilla Schrier is pretty good, too.

    I will be praying for you to find that focus. And I am also praying that God would bring another good Christian friend alongside you in your life. Regarding romantic relationships, I believe that if you have that desire, that God understands that. Our desires are God-given. Sometimes we just direct them in a different way than He intends. But I wouldn't be surprised if the right person is out there somewhere - maybe you or maybe he just isn't ready yet. Maybe God is still growing you or even protecting you right now. We don't know... only God does. But when the time is right, you won't have to search for it on your own. God will bring that person into your life. You may not understand how it will happen... I don't understand it for myself either. But God is not limited and has all the resources in the Word. You can trust Him. Seek Him first.

    Hugs.

  2. #12
    Bronze Member
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    Aug 2020
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    The Ashes of The Past
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    I have over ten years on you and I'm still waiting for that feeling of being loved and having someone to be with. The moments of happiness in my life have been fleeting and the moments of sadness have been far more frequent then they should. I've felt like I have never fit in, that life has been a never-ending cycle of hurt and anguish. All I've ever wanted is to help people and to have someone to spend my life with. Yet, my attempts to help have usually been brushed aside or I've been made to feel like I'm the one who is wrong and have no right to say or think what I do. And the rare chance at love, has never panned out. So I know how discouraging it can be. But I still believe in a better future. I (maybe foolishly) hold onto hope. I'm not religious, but I believe we have a purpose. And we can never surrender to despair and darkness.

    Try not to focus on what you don't have, and focus on what you do. And if you can't think of anything, at least you have you. You are a wonderful individual, with a good heart. You have skills and talents, you have things that have brought you joy. Do what you love. Do what makes you happy. Before you can find love in another, you must love yourself. Focus on being the best you that you can be, on being your real authentic self. Volunteer, the feeling of helping others and putting a smile on someone's face can make any soul feel good, lifting it from depression. Turn your sadness into a calling, helping to make sure others don't feel as you have. Take those negative feelings and turn them into positive actions. The more you focus on other things, the less it will hurt. You'll still have bad days, but you'll make it through. And when you aren't looking or so focused on it, when you are happy with just you, that's when things surprise you and happen out of nowhere. And even if it doesn't, you'll be enjoying your life too much to notice.

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