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Thread: Roommate relationship turned disaster

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Don't bother trying to understand him. Just live your own life. Stop sleeping with him or trying to have a relationship. Act like roommates and stop playing house. Who cares what he tells his people?
    I agree with this^

    And I'll add.. don't do things you have to hide.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I agree....if you have to keep it a secret, then you shouldn't be doing it.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    What I don't understand is what's going on on both sides, his alleged guilt and your desire for secrecy. Neither one of you did anything wrong, so why all this angst?

    I can almost understand his side better in terms of being recently divorced and perhaps processing a lot of emotions about that and feeling maybe odd about having sex with a new person. Can also understand him talking about that with family and friends.

    That said, you are both single adults free to do as you please and you said yourself that you had your reasons, he had his - mostly you were both lonely and seeking some validation. So you had a brief romance that didn't last. What's to hide about that? Why do you seem so embarrassed about it?

    I get the sense that you are engaging in some self judgment that others wouldn't even think about. Like if a friend told me that she is sleeping with her roommate, most reaction from me would be along the lines of a shrug and maybe a question about how serious they are or if it's just fun for now. People don't care about your private life as much as you imagine. They don't want you to get hurt and might give advice accordingly, but ultimately, you are an adult making your own choices, living your life.

  4. #14
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    Why does a grown woman have a "roommate" situation with a grown man and have sex with him with no sort of prior romantic relationship or boundaries? You have to own your part - you gave unattached sex hoping it would turn into more and surprise -- it didn't. You gave him convenient sex. So own that, and because it was casual, he is not obligated to treat it as sacred. So please find another living arrangement. It will prevent you from constantly dissecting this

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  6. #15
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    I didnt expect anything from him. I already knew it was going to work out. Its how he treated me afterward which I did not understand or expect

  7. #16
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    When I confronted him through text messages about the fact the should stop spreading my business around, he even told his parents. I dont get it either! I dont know why he needs to tell everyone about it i think its really strange.
    I did confront him rudely, and he said he wants me OUT. He said he doesnt want me to stay in his place anymore. But as soon as his ex-wife found out about the situation, she called me and said therewas no way he was going to kick me out, i should move when I am ready since my professional life is breaking down right now.

    She was understanding of the situation but I cannot believe how immature/disturbed he has been acting over this.

  8. #17
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    I know but I am going thru an appeals process with my school to see I can continue, in a few weeks I should know better what direction It will go. When I get a decision I will 1. stay in chicago, move out 2. move back home.

    It doesn't make sense to move out to a new rental agreement in Chicago if I may have to move home in the next few weeks. And he told me he wants me OUT. He knows I have alot of stress on me rn and the fact that he was so inconsiderate about this shows his true nature.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't panic. Move out one way or the other. How long until you can determine if you are staying in Chicago?

    Why would you have a discussion with his ex-wife?
    Originally Posted by foreverblue
    as soon as his ex-wife found out about the situation, she called me and said there was no way he was going to kick me out. She was understanding of the situation but I cannot believe how immature/disturbed he has been acting over this.

    When I get a decision I will 1. stay in chicago, move out 2. move back home.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by foreverblue
    I didnt expect anything from him. I already knew it was going to work out. Its how he treated me afterward which I did not understand or expect
    You KNEW it was going to work it? Sounds like it didn't...

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by foreverblue
    I know but I am going thru an appeals process with my school to see I can continue, in a few weeks I should know better what direction It will go. When I get a decision I will 1. stay in chicago, move out 2. move back home.

    It doesn't make sense to move out to a new rental agreement in Chicago if I may have to move home in the next few weeks. And he told me he wants me OUT. He knows I have alot of stress on me rn and the fact that he was so inconsiderate about this shows his true nature.
    Then move back home. Big deal. You entered a roommate situation that was dicey at best. Go back home and regroup unless you have a job that you are currently working at daily.

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