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Thread: Nervous about taking this to next level.

  1. #1

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    Nervous about taking this to next level.

    Hi!

    Iím currently in a casual thing with a guy Iíve been friends with for months. We havenít hooked up yet but I donít think weíd label ourselves as FWB but maybe like I said dating slowly with no titles but thereís exclusivity.

    Weíve hung out twice romantically and weíve only gone as far as cuddling and maybe touching (for like a few seconds lol).

    Heís more experienced than I am and he has preferences as to what he likes but he also claims heís simple in what he likes.

    We are supposed to hang out today but I told him there may be a slight chance I canít (which he knows) but I want to stop by at least for a few minutes. I sure he will go in for w hug some actually kiss/make out for the first time. If he doesnít initiate it, I will. Iíve never had complaints from exes with regards to when weíve kissed but with this new guy Iím just so nervous about disappointing him.

    In fact Iím over thinking the whole thing because if the chemistry isnít there when we kiss itís a deal breaker probably and I like him a lot. I donít want things to end.

    What can I do to ease my worries?

  2. #2
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    What is your endgame? Think long-term. Do you hope for an exclusive relationship? If so, avoid doing anything that will sabotage that opportunity.

    As for the short-term: Be your best version of yourself and enjoy the moment, even if it doesn't go according to plan.

    All the best!

  3. #3
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    It sounds like you donít know what the term FWB means?

    What do you mean by more experienced than you? In what way?
    You mention ex bfís so itís not like you havenít fooled around before?

    Why are you concerned about disappointing him?
    Shouldnít you be more concerned about him disappointing you?

    And if you canít catch up as planned then donít.
    Donít make yourself out to be desperate by popping over for a few minutes.
    Whatís the point in that? To be super available to him so you donít disappoint him??!!
    Last edited by Billie28; 08-02-2020 at 04:28 AM.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Go on real dates. Don't swing by for a cuddle.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Heís more experienced than I am and he has preferences as to what he likes but he also claims heís simple in what he likes.

    I don't get this. Are you talking about what you like and don't like in bed? That's an abnormal conversation to have when you haven't even been intimate yet. And what do you mean by his being more experienced?

    Every new relationship is a leap of faith and it's a bit nerve-racking to feel vulnerable. Just know that being uncertain is normal so there is no getting around it. Do try though to change your mindset in that whatever happens, you will be okay. If you two are incompatible, then you keep going until you find the keeper. If you're worried about disappointing him, think about if that's your poor self esteem that you need to boost, or if it's his demeanor that is making you feel on edge and "less then." If that's the case, you shouldn't be with someone who makes you feel badly about yourself.

    If all of that talk of "Experienced" and sexual talk has stemmed from him, it's a red flag that he's only in it for sex. Of course, most people are thinking of that subject when dating someone attractive, but the average person won't talk about sex until he/she has already had sex with that partner. What's his relationship history? If his longest relationship has been 4 months, expect the same for yours.

    Guard your heart and have a wait-and-see attitude. Time will reveal all.

  7. #6
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    If you see yourself dating this guy properly with potential for a relationship quit the hanging out or stopping by just to audition to see if you kiss well. Ask him out to get together for an activity in public where you spend some time together -outside for a walk, at a museum, for a hike, whatever.

    If you simply feel like having someone in your life you casually hook up with when one of you is horny then it's no big deal if this one doesn't work out -plenty of people are into that sort of casual arrangement.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What do you mean by more experienced? You're a virgin and he's not? Only do what you are comfortable with. Don't accelerate sexual contact to hang onto a guy. Go on real dates, take it slowly.

  9. #8

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    Everyone,

    This post is irrelevant now. We was supposed to go on our 3rd date but I told him earlier that day, more than likely we wouldnít because Iíd to be too tired after I got back from helping a friend pack. I havenít been sleeping much which he knew. He understood that I cancelled our date etc.

    After I left my friends house a little earlier than planned, I was more exhausted but I wanted to see him even if it was for a few minutes even though our date was definitely cancelled.

    He got upset and said there was no point if I was too exhausted as it was unless we were going on a date which he wanted to still do.

    I got upset too and sure I was exhausted but seeing him for a few minutes was better than nothing at all.

    Anyway, we argued for a little bit and now heís pouting about it.

    I asked friends and 75% agreed with him.

  10. #9
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    I agree with him - a few minutes still means he has to get ready to see you -and you'll be exhausted. I wouldn't have pushed it especially since your prime motivation seems to be to test the chemistry. Maybe he was put off by your intensity (pushiness?) in insisting on stopping by.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    No official anything and already an argument? Maybe it's time to rethink things

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