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Thread: Nervous about taking this to next level.

  1. #11

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    I wasnít being pushy. His house was on my way home. By the time i would have gotten there he would have probably be home from work by then. So why not stop by? Know what I mean.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Next time either cancel or be available to date. Drive bys are lazy and silly.

  3. #13

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    He thought the same thing but Iíd rather see him for a little while instead of not at all.

    Now heís pouting about it and I hate it when he does this.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by banana79
    He thought the same thing but Iíd rather see him for a little while instead of not at all.

    Now heís pouting about it and I hate it when he does this.
    Because you see it differently. I wouldn't like someone to just stop by either if the plan had been for a full date and time together. To me a few minutes would be worse than nothing and kind of annoying in that circumstance. It's not just about you so when he first said no thanks you should have let it go IMO.

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  6. #15

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    We technically didnít have plans. I told him already that if I wasnít too exhausted we could go out after my friends thing and I said more likely I would be too exhausted so letís just assume itís a no. He said he understood and was fine with it.

    So when I left my friends house I told him I was definitely too exhausted to go out like I told him but wanted to just stop by for a few since his house was on my way home.

    He got upset because he said there was no point if it was for a few min. He also said if I could spare a few min then I could spare 1-2 hours and go out.

    Then he started pouting about it and threw a tantrum.

  7. #16
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    I don't think it's worth pursuing this arrangement because you're not on the same page even about the logistics of getting together. i think you wanted what was convenient for you and when you invite yourself over the other person is entitled to decline. My sense is you're physically attracted to him but you don't really like him or respect him.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    When you cancel something it's a good idea to postpone it and give the other party another alternative such as "I can't make it tonight because I'm sunburnt and exhausted but I'll definitely feel better tomorrow evening. I'd just like to keep it low key if that's ok with you."

    If you like him, start communicating better. Don't do tentative drive bys. There are so many, and I mean SO MANY, situations like this born of convenience and it rarely ever lasts because one or both people end up not giving the other person the time of day.

    Make better plans, communicate more and be more specific about what you're wanting out of this. It will give the other party time to reflect and absorb more about what kind of person you are and rise to that challenge dating you or spending adequate time (quality time) with you.

  9. #18

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    Normally we are and heís rarely upset so Iím not even sure why he was upset as he was. Especially when he was getting off work early because he wasnít feeling well anyway.

    What was he gonna do power through not feeling well just to go out. Itís also the reason why I was only going to stay for a little bit just to see how he was doing.

    But I agree. I just canít deal with this type of poutiness.

  10. #19

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    Youíre right. When you put it that way, it was wishy washy.

    We did discuss earlier that day the next time Iíd see him was next weekend because I was going to be busy with work.

    So by announcing suddenly Iíd stop by for a few minutes it probably was a jerk move now that I think about it.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It was a misunderstanding. Just apologize for your part of it and if you want to continue seeing him, ask him whether he's free tomorrow or another time. Don't get sucked into the emotions of the present moment or let that get you down.

    If you sense someone is a bit stuck on one point or not able to mentally move past a small misunderstanding, I don't think this is a good sign overall, character-wise.

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