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Thread: Am I overreacting bad?

  1. #1

    Am I overreacting bad?

    My boyfriend of 10 years got a text at 10pm from his ex/kids mom saying she got a new job and was excited. And though he’s never done anything or crossed a line with her, me being a girl of course overreacted because of the late time. I just had a flashback of an ex that used to text girls all night and it messed with me.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Being a girl doesn’t “ make you” overreact. If you have issue you haven’t dealt with from years ago and nothing to do with him you need to deal with them.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Being a girl doesn’t “ make you” overreact. If you have issue you haven’t dealt with from years ago and nothing to do with him you need to deal with them.
    This. Being a girl has nothing to do with a tendency to over-react.

    Having said that, it would be helpful if you provided more context. What did you say or do when you learned his ex texted him? How long have you been dating and has he ever given you a real reason not to trust him? What's the general relationship like with between him and his ex?

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately this is your baggage and not strange for coparenting.
    Originally Posted by Rosie1300
    My boyfriend of 10 years got a text at 10pm from his ex/kids mom

    I just had a flashback of an ex that used to text girls all night and it messed with me.

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  6. #5
    I kind of freaked out a little and thought it was weird that it was late and my reaction caused him to get defensive and angry because he’s never given me a reason not to trust him. He even showed me his texts. We all have a good relationship With her but I just think a late text not about the kids is weird and thought the worst due to my past cheating exes.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Rosie1300
    I kind of freaked out a little and thought it was weird that it was late and my reaction caused him to get defensive and angry because he’s never given me a reason not to trust him. He even showed me his texts. We all have a good relationship With her but I just think a late text not about the kids is weird and thought the worst due to my past cheating exes.
    Meaning what? Did you yell? Accuse?

    Please more specific so we can better understand his reaction to you.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rosie1300
    I kind of freaked out a little and thought it was weird that it was late and my reaction caused him to get defensive and angry because he’s never given me a reason not to trust him. He even showed me his texts. We all have a good relationship With her but I just think a late text not about the kids is weird and thought the worst due to my past cheating exes.
    Well, I think it's a natural impulse to feel some concern. But you have to put it in the context of your current 10-year relationship with this guy and the mother of his children.

    You've got to let go of the whole "cheating ex" justification. You've had over 10 years to get over your cheating exes. That should really be put to bed right now.

    Maybe your concerns about the text are justified, but you have to identify the actual reasons for them. Your previous relationships can't be an excuse anymore. It won't help you solve your current problem.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    So basically you took your unresolved baggage from years ago and ran him over with it.

    All I can say is that you owe him a huge apology and you owe it to yourself to deal with that baggage, resolve it, and let it go. Whatever happened in the past is not an excuse to punish your current SO with.

    Also, please do not use bs like "being a girl" to justify horrible behavior.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    If they regularly text about things other than their co-parenting, you can point out that you believe that with exes, communication should solely be about issues relating to the children. He will either agree or disagree, and if he doesn't agree, then you can leave the relationship if that would be a dealbreaker to you.

    You've only spoken of this one text in a 10 year period, so I'm assuming it isn't the norm for them to engage in those sorts of conversations. If that's the case, what's done is done about you being upset and it will blow over.

  11. #10
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Meaning what? Did you yell? Accuse?

    Please more specific so we can better understand his reaction to you.
    I yelled how I thought it was weird for her to text him so late When it has nothing to do with the kids which caused him to get defensive

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