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Thread: Am I overreacting bad?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    A change in her employment situation IS about the kids. 10pm is not some sort of bootycall time.

    It's a time when the kids are in bed and she can discuss news that may affect visitation, custody, child support, etc.

    You need to curb your baggage and insecurity and jealous rages. Some therapy to sort out why this persists could help you feel happier.
    Originally Posted by Rosie1300
    his ex/kids mom saying she got a new job.

    I just had a flashback of an ex that used to text girls all night and it messed with me.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    You should be appreciative that they have a good relationship, and are respectful of each other. This would be great news. As the others mentioned, this does make a difference with custody, and their children's lives. You need to be more positive with your outlook on things. Better work on getting rid of that black cloud you have hovering over your head.

  3. #13
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    Ten PM is late?! You need to deal with your trust issues.

    What does "being a girl" have to do with anything?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Are you happy in this relationship, generally speaking? Feeling pretty solid in your own core, during these turbulent times? I ask those questions to get a sense of how things were going—how things were feeling—before this text came through.

    Just going from what you've offered, your reaction strikes me as a bit misguided, more about you than him. The degree to which it's all about your past or your present—well, I'd need more information.

    As it happens, I was in similar shoes just the other day, when my girlfriend told me about something related to a potential new job of her ex-husband. Not sure when they were texting about that, but I wasn't thrown. They share a child, have an active and amicable relationship as co-parents, so his work, just like hers, is a pretty important part of that system, an understandable thing they'd touch base on.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    A change in her employment situation IS about the kids. 10pm is not some sort of bootycall time.

    It's a time when the kids are in bed and she can discuss news that may affect visitation, custody, child support, etc.

    You need to curb your baggage and insecurity and jealous rages. Some therapy to sort out why this persists could help you feel happier.
    AGREE 100%. And in telling him, if the kids chatter about it, he doesn't say "what?" and contradict their story or can be prepared to be happy with them. Or if it involves changes for them, can be a buffer. It makes the parents look like they are working together vs keeping secrets or undermining the other.




    BTW, if you weren't so insecure, maybe he wouldn't be your boyfriend of 10 years. He would be your husband of 1-5 years and you would be their stepmom. Just sayin. Unless he was still involved with the ex when you met

  7. #16
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    How many times in the past ten years has he been inappropriate with his ex?

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Rosie1300
    I yelled how I thought it was weird for her to text him so late When it has nothing to do with the kids which caused him to get defensive
    Wow. You chose to date a father who thank goodness is involved with his kids. Why would you yell at him about a text being received? Please see this broadly -jobs and finances are totally related to kids including logistically.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Rosie1300
    I yelled how I thought it was weird for her to text him so late When it has nothing to do with the kids which caused him to get defensive
    Well, most people will get defensive when they're being yelled at, Rosie.

    You need to learn to communicate you concerns more maturely.

  10. #19
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    I missed the yelling part. Girl, you are out of line.You need to apologize to him big time. Seek counseling to work through your issues right away. YOUR issues, not yours together. He also deserves to be with someone who accepts his children fully - and the fact that they have a mother

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I have a different opinion. 10 pm is inappropriate to be announcing a new job. No one fell or was rushed to emergency or choked. It's not about scheduling for the kids unless she's starting her job the next day and she's supposed to have them. Was this the case? What immediate implications did it have regarding their kids?

    If the job situation has nothing to do with the next day, that kind of text can wait until the morning or during day time hours. The issue with the text is that it suggests a level of familiarity and lack of boundaries between them even if they are co-parenting kids. Gray area? Yes. Are you entitled to an opinion? Yes, also. Should it have devolved to yelling - probably not.

    Talk about this as adults when things are a bit cooler between the both of you. Do you mind me asking if there are other issues in the relationship?

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