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Thread: Ex is clearly happy why canít I be?

  1. #11

    Join Date
    Jul 2020
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    7
    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    What you miss is the illusion, the fantasy of who you thought he is. What you need to do is face up to reality - he is a lying, cheating, backstabbing, violent (punching walls), lazy, unemployed user. A disordered pos.

    I know it doesn't feel like it, but you dodged a nightmare and you are lucky that you didn't get married. All the other woman got is a cheating loser and you know what they say about that.....how she got him is how she'll lose him. There is a side chic vacancy there and he will fill that.

    As for happiness....OP....disordered people are not capable of happiness, that goes for both him and the ho he shacked up with. Sane happy people don't cheat, lie, sneak around, help someone in a relationship cheat, etc. Do you think these people can ever trust each other? They both know what they are capable of, so you can rest assured that behind closed doors their "relationship" is a complete nightmare, forever looking over their shoulder wondering when one of them will be cheating again and it will happen. Cheaters are not happy people, never were, never will be.

    Please wash your hands off these slimes and focus on moving on to a great life. There are plenty of men out there who would be genuinely good to you and want a life with you for real. Meanwhile lean on your family and friends for support and always trust your instincts - they've proven you right and you should have kicked this loser out long ago instead of trying to save the relationship. Sometimes, it's not worth saving, he is not worth having and never was.


    THANK YOU! You made me chuckle because you it really is so ridiculous that Iím hung up on this illusion. They can be happy together living among lies and deceit! Thank you for all the encouraging words

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by JR1990
    I guess I never knew the true him
    This sounds very accurate.

    The man he presented to himself to be and the man he really is are two totally different people.

  3. #13

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    Jul 2020
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Learn to separate your version of things from the reality of what it was.

    Those good memories that you have are yours and yours alone so right now while you feel the ground is shifting under you and your reality is confusing, just know that you do not actually have to give up those good memories. I think it's important that you understand that so that you don't continue to self-pity, second guess yourself and feel bad about the whole ordeal. You can know him exactly as he is and what he's shown himself to be and still preserve the good memories from early on in the relationship. Move forwards with your integrity/confidence intact and your memories too.

    Pick yourself up off the ground and know that there are better things for you out there. As the saying goes - when one door closes...

    I hope as things start to settle you realize you're worth a lot more than this situation and this relationship will not define you. It takes time.

    Thank you thank you. Posting my story and reading all the replies helps more than you know! I appreciate it.

  4. #14
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    Jul 2020
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    He doesnít sound happy at all. Know your value. When he comes back, and itís very likely he will, show him your worth more than what he can offer you.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    I have lived pretty much this scenerio.
    My ex was always "working late" during the week & on weekends.
    I found emails, he was having an affair with his 19yr old PA. She was married as well.
    I threw him out, raised my children alone....best decision I ever made.
    They married, she ended up cheating with her new boss LOLOL Karma is amazing.

    Dont look back. Block him on everything. It is so hard at the beginning, but he did you a huge favour.

    You deserve someone so much better than him, good luck

  7. #16

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    Jul 2020
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    Originally Posted by shellyf62
    I have lived pretty much this scenerio.
    My ex was always "working late" during the week & on weekends.
    I found emails, he was having an affair with his 19yr old PA. She was married as well.
    I threw him out, raised my children alone....best decision I ever made.
    They married, she ended up cheating with her new boss LOLOL Karma is amazing.

    Dont look back. Block him on everything. It is so hard at the beginning, but he did you a huge favour.

    You deserve someone so much better than him, good luck

    I am so sorry this happened to you and Iím so glad to hear that karma came back to him. Iím also so happy to know you made it through being so much better off! I really am getting better by the day. Itís just all a mental thing like I keep thinking of them together and then I have to take a moment to thank God for all that I do have. Thank you for sharing this it really helps :)

  8. #17

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    Jul 2020
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    Thank you so much for the encouraging words! :)

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