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Need advice on a woman who suddenly got distant from dating app


JDMxTeGrA101

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So I met this woman through A dating app about a week ago. Shes a foreigner who lives in another country but She put on her profile that she’s currently living in my city so I messaged her and we chatted it up on the app. Really fast responses showing a lot of interest then she told me to add her on Facebook.

 

I added her and we were messaging non-stop on fb messenger. She seemed really interested in me cause even when I wouldn’t respond, she would double text. Consistent good morning and good night texts from her with the kiss emoji. Anyways she told me how she wanted to visit my city and maybe move here so I told her I’ll get a room for us and I’ll show her around and she was really excited. She even told me things like she wants to start working out so she can look sexy for me and stuff. She sent me selfies of herself and voice memes which was pretty sweet

 

Yesterday I noticed how she changed her profile pic on the dating app to a new one and on the app it shows how they are online/offline. Anyways I sent her a good morning text and she replied back with good morning and I jokingly said I had a dream of her with a wink face.

 

Note she currently isn’t working due to Covid and few hours gone by and no response but she’s online on the dating app so I’m assuming she’s chatting with other guys. She usually responses back right away and even sends a double text.

 

She finally texts me back about 10 hours later with a distant “hey what’s up” after that last text I sent her when I said I had a dream of her but i was just being flirty.

 

I haven’t responded to her as I want to know what actions I should take? Should I mirror what she does or be myself? Like I want to message back but what she did yesterday sort of blew me away . Any advices guys?

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She's probably distracted by another guy.

 

You two have never met and you're already talking about getting room and how she wants to be sexy for you, and blah, blah, blah. You can't take any of that seriously unless and until you meet and see if you're even attracted and have chemistry.

 

It sounds like she was looking for attention with all the selfies and voice notes, and someone else is currently holding hers. If you want to see if there's any potential, you could ask her on an actual date (not getting a room) and see how she responds. If she's lukewarm or vague, then don't waste more time on her.

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Thanks for your reply MissCanuck. If she lived in my area, I would’ve asked her on a date already but shes lives in another country and isn’t coming here till next year.

 

I don’t even know why I went for this woman that lives in anointed country but I feel like we clicked once we started chatting on fb messenger

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She lives in another country.

You said that not me!!!!

 

She apparently agreed for you to get a room with you in YOUR city? You don’t need a room?! You live there.

If she want to go to your city , then she gets a room and you can arrange a date when or if she visits.

 

You are being scammed.

 

Probably not even female. Next you will be asked to send money for the flight just temporarily as “her” funds are not available until x date but “she” really wants to see you before then. You send the funds and then puff your dream girl disappears.

 

Block ASAP before you get hacked!

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Thanks for your reply MissCanuck. If she lived in my area, I would’ve asked her on a date already but shes lives in another country and isn’t coming here till next year.

 

Ah, ok. I misread. I thought she was in your area already.

 

I wouldn't bother with her. It's not going anywhere when she's not going to be in your area any time soon.

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She lives in another country.

You said that not me!!!!

 

She apparently agreed for you to get a room with you in YOUR city? You don’t need a room?! You live there.

If she want to go to your city , then she gets a room and you can arrange a date when or if she visits.

 

You are being scammed.

 

Probably not even female. Next you will be asked to send money for the flight just temporarily as “her” funds are not available until x date but “she” really wants to see you before then. You send the funds and then puff your dream girl disappears.

 

Block ASAP before you get hacked!

 

She told me she was saving up to book a flight here for next year. I’ve also spoke to her on the phone and a video FaceTime call so she’s not Catfishing

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I just don’t know why she put my city when she lives in another country.

 

Have you asked her about it?

 

This is a bad sign, IMO. You already have proof that at least some of the information she provided is fake.

 

I would not get too involved in this until you can actually meet her for a real date.

 

This may be a scam, I don't know. Run away if she ever asks you for money.

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Honestly... it's been a week. You have not met in person. Move on.

 

It's a giant red flag for a person to lie about their location in a dating app. It might be one thing, if they are moving soon and they're looking to make new contacts. but even then, until they move, its just words in a screen.

 

Wanting to save up to visit your area? In a year? this sounds sketchy at best. Add in the love bombing. This is a fishy scenario.

 

If you are really willing to wait A YEAR to meet in person, then just wait and see.

 

I'd focus on local girls.

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Thanks for your replies guys. Reason why I wouldn’t mind resorting to foreign women is cause it’s been tough in the dating scene during these times due to Covid and a lot more women have choices due to social media and I’ve been working so much, I hardly meet new people now and don’t go out as much so that is why I’m in the dating app

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I can only echo Billie:

 

"Probably not even female. Next you will be asked to send money for the flight just temporarily as “her” funds are not available until x date but “she” really wants to see you before then. You send the funds and then puff your dream girl disappears.

 

Block ASAP before you get hacked!"

 

OP. The "romance scams" can be very sophisticated setups. This one has all the hallmarks.

 

Check this out

 

https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/types-of-scams/dating-romance

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Nobody wants to date someone in another country unless they're a scammer who wants people to send them money or some kind of male order bride/husband. In any case, their intentions are probably dodgy. Even if this woman is not a catfish in the sense that she's the person in the pictures, that doesn't mean she doesn't have some kind of hidden agenda. If you still want to meet her, just say you'll meet up when she actually does come to your country. But don't spend much time talking to her and DON'T send any money. This might all end up being just a scam and waste of time.

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My advice:

 

Don't send "her" any money for any reason. "She" will probably tell you that she would love to come see you but she doesn't have any money for a ticket so you volunteer to buy her a ticket but she tells you that it would be better if you just send her the money so she can get a better deal on a flight.

 

Seriously you need to rethink this whole thing.

 

If they do not live near you then skip them and move on. Being single and alone is way better than falling for some scam and then losing a bunch of money in the process.

 

Lost

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OP,

 

I do hear from my guy friends, that do on line dating, there are many scammers and eventually they always ask for money...

 

It happens to women, too. I know for me, I only talk to local guys (30-45 minutes away by car MAX!) And that seems to be a good policy for many reasons.

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She may not be a scammer or catfishing, just more of your run of the mill user or gold digger. Looking to create a hot fast romance, drag it out long enough where you feel like you are in a "relationship" and eventually she won't need to ask you for money or gifts, you'll start sending it yourself.

 

Plenty of women like that actively prey on men who seem desperate and so an easy target - lonely, having a hard time dating, etc. Your clue is always the hot fast love bombing.

 

It works too. You've barely talked to a random stranger in another country for a week and you are already wound up, over invested and counting hours between her responses, triggered by a delay in response enough to post here. This is actually your clue to delete her and check yourself. Better to be single and go about your life in peace than to get involved in what will be a toxic mess with a manipulative user.

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Thanks for your replies guys. Reason why I wouldn’t mind resorting to foreign women is cause it’s been tough in the dating scene during these times due to Covid and a lot more women have choices due to social media and I’ve been working so much,

 

This is why dating foreign women who still don't live in you country - and won't any time soon - is an even bigger waste of time.

 

If you are restricted from meeting women locally due to pandemic circumstances, it makes even less sense to try to connect with women who don't even live in the same nation. I don't mean to be unkind, but your reasoning is illogical on that one.

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I think you can change your settings so that your kilometre or mile radius is smaller. I don't think this is a good idea either. The emojis and frequent texts seem a bit off to me.

 

If I were to give her the benefit of the doubt, I think reality probably sunk in a little and she cooled her heels after realizing the whole idea of dating someone in a different country is unrealistic. You may have scared her off too about the renting a room comment.

 

Change the settings!

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Update:

 

Didn’t know she was going to go this far but she made an alternate Facebook account and messaged me on fb asking if I’m okay and asking what she did wrong?

 

Crazy how now I don’t give her any attention, she runs to me. I guess whose guys she was chatting with on the app weren’t enough?

 

I feel like I should respond but I don’t know

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