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Thread: My girlfriend is driving me crazy

  1. #1

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    My girlfriend is driving me crazy

    The situation is like this:
    My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years now. We are from different countries and we live in my country in Europe.
    The problem is that she is always unsatisfied with almost everything, starting aproximately one year ago.
    Let me give you some concrete facts about me now.

    The good things about me:
    I am working in a stable job, with posibilities for promotion, my salary is 150% of the average salary. It's enough for me to pay for more than 60% of our rent ( in the best area of the city ),all our food, our car and some ocasional trips, and I do pay for all these things, but I don't mind it, I think a man should take care of the family in this way. Oh, I also payed for her school tax, something like 2000 Ä. Besides this I am also learning programming in my spare time, with the purpose of transforming it in my side hustle so I can earn more and offer her even better things then we have now. I always wash the dishes, clean the house, give her massages and preety many times I cook too. I love her very much and all I do is for her.

    Now what's bad about me:
    Because I work, study and also do housework I am tired sometimes, especially right when I come back from work, and because of that I don't feel like talking or anything else, I just want to sit there peacefully for a while. Don't imagine this is how I am all the time, I just need aprox 1 hour of peace and I am good to go again. Also I am not good in couple conversation, I mean we talk all the time, but I still have to improve my conversational skills. Another thing is that I sometimes forget things, not big ones, like buying milk and these kind of things. Doesn't happen often but it happens sometimes.

    Now that you made an idea about who I am I will describe what she complains about.
    She always says that I am not rich enough, that I am studying for my programming but still didn't get no money out of it. That she should be happy first so that we can be happy as a couple( she actually said this ). Also everytime we have an disagreement she is very aggressive verbally and phisically, she sais is because she doesn't know how to express her feeling in another way. I always am the one saying sorry and taking the fault, 100% of the times, I don't say is not my fault sometimes, but I think it cannot be all the time my fault.

    Ok, I wrote preety much already so I am gonna finish with describing, shortly, our last fight.
    I come home from work, she was home all day that day, and she started being very angry because she doesn't have corn and cherry and she really wanted to eat some. I told her I am tired from work and if I rest for a lil bit I can go search for it in the market( I say search because the corn and cherry season is over and you don't quite find them in the market anymore). When I said this she got even more angry and said I should not come home until I have corn and cherry. I love her, so I went to try to find some, I searche in many markets for 2 hours but did not find anything, so I bought her some other food I know she likes and came back home. When I arrived I showed her the food and told her I want to rest now. Shegot angry again and this time hit me. When she hit me, I got angry to and I went to rest in the car. Now she sais again that she will leave me becaus I cannot take good care of her.

    What do you think? Am I doing somethin wrong ?

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Alex321
    What do you think? Am I doing somethin wrong ?
    I think the only thing you are doing wrong is staying with her. You are allowing her to treat you like a dog. That's on you. She has shown you who she is and she will NOT change. In fact, over time she'll probably get a lot worse. Can you see yourself living like this for the rest of your life? Her walking all over you?
    Show her you have enough self-respect and send her packing.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why is she in your country? Where is she from? If she hits you, throw her out.

  4. #4

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    We met when she was doing a 1 year job here, and we fell in love and she decided to stay so we can be together. The thing is I would like to fix this problem because I love her very much, but is very hard to make her make some effort because she always says that she did enough effort by moving here, away from her family.

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Alex321
    she always says that she did enough effort by moving here, away from her family.
    It was HER choice to stay. You didn't force her. Besides, just because she chose to stay is no excuse for bad behaviour and for treating you like a piece of garbage.

  7. #6
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    It sounds like she sees you as some kind of lifestyle choice; a way of getting a good standard of living off your back. Not only are you taking the lion's share of the financial commitments, but you're doing housework, bettering yourself through study and treating her... yet it's STILL not enough. She is coming across like an entitled narcissist, particularly when she goes so berserk when she doesn't get her own way. Her behaviour is completely unacceptable. Call her bluff and let her leave. In fact, be proactive and make her leave. You do not obliged to take care of her because she is not a child, despite acting like one.

  8. #7
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    You are allowing her behaviour and because of that donít expect it to change. Why would it?
    On the flip side if you donít accept her behaviour she will leave you (that would be the best scenario)

    What exactly do you love about her? Her physical appearance ?
    You havenít listed the good things about her?
    Are there any?
    Please try list the good and the bad about her so we can get some perspective as to who she is , like you have done about yourself.

    Please include as to whether she works, what income she brings to the table etc?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    She seems homesick and resentful. She needs to go back to her family. You need to stop holding her back from that. What is the long range purpose of this? Just playing house? Residency? Why are you keeping her there? Can she afford to go back home?
    Originally Posted by Alex321
    she always says that she did enough effort by moving here, away from her family.

  10. #9
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    So she is an abusive gold digger. Time to toss her out.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Alex321
    Am I doing somethin wrong ?
    Yes.

    You are pandering to this rude, entitled, abusive jerk.

    Get rid of her. She's low-quality.

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