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Thread: Ex girlfriend reached out after 3.5 months NC

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by Ptink
    Yeah, I get that. I'm perfectly capable of hearing advice that goes against my bias. Posts saying to block, never contact again, you should've never answered, etc. are basically useless and not really advice or support. Your advice has been very level headed imo.

    OP we are giving you sensible advice. The fact you don't like it doesn't mean it's irrational. You seem way too invested, just my opinion of course, and she knows this. I won't offer any more advice now based on this fact i just hope you listen to what people who have been through this scenario are telling you but wish you well regardless. Good luck.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    It is hard to hear just cut your losses and move on when it very well may be the right move. Many times no matter the evidence the contrary we as humans need to find out for ourselves. Horror movies would be pretty boring if the person being told "Don't go in there" listened and walked away.

    This is your life and you need to ultimately make all the choices and as you do that keep in mind the advice you received. There are two people in this dynamic and only you know what you will do and want to happen so until she shows her cards there simply is no fool proof way of anyone knowing what the best move is.

    Personally I don't like to write off any possibility. That doesn't mean you stop your life and wait, it simply means that you do not totally close yourself off to that person if they happen to re-enter your life. Second chances can be a wonderful gift...

    Lost

  3. #33
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that. Covid is kicking everyone's ass whether married, dating, living together or looking. Ok, if you hear from her, meet up see what happens and if worse comes to worse, you either have closure or a friend.
    Originally Posted by Ptink
    Good ones don't come along too often. So basically I'm limited to online dating, which has major drawbacks, especially during covid. I find it hard since I live alone and I have a lot of time with my thoughts.

  4. #34
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    I don't really see the point of asking for advice to be honest if you're already pretty sure what you're going to do. You didn't get the advice you wanted, so you just dismissed it and said it wasn't good. And you're just going to do what you were originally going to.

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  6. #35
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    The point of asking for advice was to see things from different views, which was achieved. The point of advice is not to follow it word by word, but think critically about the situation and make a decision based off of all the information that I know, since I know many more personal details that I really don't have the time (or want) to share.

    If she wanted to friendzone me, we would've talked more over the phone. What's the point of meeting up only to put someone in the friendzone. To me it seems at least a part of her wants to explore options with me (that's just me thinking logically). At the moment, there's legit nothing to friendzone. We were never friends before the relationship, and we weren't friends after the relationship. If I wanted to be friends with her, I could've reached out to her, but instead I held my ground with close to 4 months NC until she reached out. Even if the sole purpose of the meeting is to put me in the friendzone, that will fail. I'm strong enough to walk away and never look back. I'll admit I was slipping up when I started this thread, but the comments here helped me get back to reality and get me back on track with living my life.

    As some mentioned here, there's zero risk in meeting up and seeing where this goes. As I explained to a family member, right now I feel like I'm approaching a fork in the path. Only one path has her in my life, but both paths do lead to happiness. So there's no harm in at least trying my best to see if there's anything left to salvage. I realized if I don't meet up with her, I will carry regrets with me for quite some time.

    Don't think that I didn't consider all of the advice in this thread, because I did.

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