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Thread: Help!

  1. #11

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    She is my ex wife's niece Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12

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    It's not a rebound, I've been single for 4 yrs now and have already had my rebound, and shes been single for a bit as well.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How did this start? Why is she staying with you?
    Originally Posted by 80guy
    She is my ex wife's niece

  4. #14
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    Is there a big age gap or something? Has your ex-wife moved on? If your ex-wife has moved on then maybe this is actually fine. If you have genuine feelings for this woman and she for you then why not take a chance and see where it goes?

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Sounds like trouble.

    How old are you both?

    Lost

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 80guy
    She is my ex wife's niece
    yikes... In order to give any advice, I'd need more details. On the surface, its not good, but you are not really doing a good job of explaining the situation.

  8. #17
    Gold Member Betterwithout's Avatar
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    If it's your exes Neice, there is likely a huge age difference and way too close too home.
    oh boy. This is not going to end well. Unless you "end" it immediately.

  9. #18
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 80guy
    The biggest problem is she is staying with me, so other then sleeping and work we are around eachother constantly.
    What was the agreement prior to her moving in? And, why is it a problem?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    If you are some middle-aged guy having sex with your ex-wife's 20 year old niece, then you bet there are going to be people around getting upset, namely your ex-wife and all her family. If there is a big age gap, chances are that, at best, all it is likely to lead to is you two forming some kind of a relationship for a few years until she outgrows you and you break up. Sure, it may work now, but when she grows up and wisens up, there is a good chance that she will grow tired of your immaturity and regret not getting to explore the opportunities and freedom that life has to offer to a young person of her age because she wasted that time playing house with someone much older. Unfortunately, I doubt that you will stop. Your post feels like seeking permission to go ahead. If you had been really serious about not upsetting all these people, you would not have started something "physical" with her in the first place. Blaming it on alcohol doesn't paint your maturity level in a good light either.

    To answer your question, the right thing on your part, if you are much older than her (and therefore, supposedly wiser), would be to not take advantage of her lack of life experience any further (assuming that she is too young) and arrange that she moves out. Based on what you wrote, as long as you are under the same roof, you will keep slipping up. She will have no trouble finding a guy whose life stage is better aligned to her own, as long as you let her spread her wings. If, on the other hand, you are both aged over 30, again the situation sounds tacky and insensitive, but at least then you are both fully matured adults who have sufficient life experience to know what you are getting yourselves into. That would mean that you supposedly have weighted the pros and cons of the situation and have the backbone to stand by your informed choice, should you decide to go ahead and pursue a relationship.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by 80guy
    She is my ex wife's niece
    That is trouble. I'll leave it up to you two to decide on the right thing to do, but the chances of this going over well with her family when the news gets out are slim to none.

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