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Thread: Boyfriend unhealthy lifestyle

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    My husband and I have similar eating and exercise habits. Physical appearance is a reflection of inside the body such as heart health, hypertension, diabetes or pre-diabetes, etc.

    Your boyfriend (or husband / wife / spouse / partner)'s lifestyle affects your life.

    I'll give you an example: My MIL (mother-in-law) is very unhealthy yet her husband is healthy. She's a real drag to the entire family her whole life. She sleeps too much, she's sickly and planning anything is impossible with her. Either she arrives too late for every event or occasion, declines attending altogether because she sleeps all the time, has unreasonable dietary restrictions so cooking for her is impossible, she's extremely picky to the point of my not enjoying home entertaining my in-laws anymore or when we have an outing, we always have to cut it short because she doesn't last the duration of the outting. My FIL (father-in-law) and the rest of us would have an easier life if we didn't constantly have to drop everything for her, race to her aid as if she's a damsel in distress and cater to her every whim. We pretty much have to put all of our plans in suspension on account of her. She's been this way all her entire life. So yes, a person's poor health impacts everyone else in the family tree. She's helpless and can't do anything. She even admitted that she's lazy. She doesn't cook, habitually orders carry out or take out meals or eats at restaurants daily 365 days per year. She's inactive and has aches 'n pains galore from head to toe. Most of all, since she's so unhealthy and doesn't want to do anything about improvement, she's irritable and not easy to get along with. She's cranky all the time which doesn't make for pleasant company. There's a definite sound body, sound mind connection. When the body is unhealthy, the mind turns to mush.

    A person's unhealthy lifestyle does indeed affect your life. Or, while an unhealthy person is young, youth is still on their side albeit temporarily. Then as they age year by year and over the years or decades, their poor lifestyle habits (poor diet, lack of exercise, drinking, smoking, drugs, etc.) catches up with them eventually. You'll end up taking take care of a sickly guy and you're the one who has to play nursemaid. That's what happened to my grandfather. My grandmother was saddled with a caretaker role because he was diabetic, smoked and drank during his youth, ate whatever he desired and he paid the price for it. His freedom came at such a dear cost. He had several heart attacks, became a walking pharmacy and took pills for everything.

    Sure, you cannot control genetics but at least a healthy lifestyle is better than not trying to live a healthy lifestyle.

    It's better to be evenly yoked with a person with similar lifestyle habits IMHO. You two can relate better and have more in common.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    My husband and I have similar eating and exercise habits. Physical appearance is a reflection of inside the body such as heart health, hypertension, diabetes or pre-diabetes, etc.

    Your boyfriend (or husband / wife / spouse / partner)'s lifestyle affects your life.

    I'll give you an example: My MIL (mother-in-law) is very unhealthy yet her husband is healthy. She's a real drag to the entire family her whole life. She sleeps too much, she's sickly and planning anything is impossible with her. Either she arrives too late for every event or occasion, declines attending altogether because she sleeps all the time, has unreasonable dietary restrictions so cooking for her is impossible, she's extremely picky to the point of my not enjoying home entertaining my in-laws anymore or when we have an outing, we always have to cut it short because she doesn't last the duration of the outting. My FIL (father-in-law) and the rest of us would have an easier life if we didn't constantly have to drop everything for her, race to her aid as if she's a damsel in distress and cater to her every whim. We pretty much have to put all of our plans in suspension on account of her. She's been this way all her entire life. So yes, a person's poor health impacts everyone else in the family tree. She's helpless and can't do anything. She even admitted that she's lazy. She doesn't cook, habitually orders carry out or take out meals or eats at restaurants daily 365 days per year. She's inactive and has aches 'n pains galore from head to toe. Most of all, since she's so unhealthy and doesn't want to do anything about improvement, she's irritable and not easy to get along with. She's cranky all the time which doesn't make for pleasant company. There's a definite sound body, sound mind connection. When the body is unhealthy, the mind turns to mush.

    A person's unhealthy lifestyle does indeed affect your life. Or, while an unhealthy person is young, youth is still on their side albeit temporarily. Then as they age year by year and over the years or decades, their poor lifestyle habits (poor diet, lack of exercise, drinking, smoking, drugs, etc.) catches up with them eventually. You'll end up taking take care of a sickly guy and you're the one who has to play nursemaid. That's what happened to my grandfather. My grandmother was saddled with a caretaker role because he was diabetic, smoked and drank during his youth, ate whatever he desired and he paid the price for it. His freedom came at such a dear cost. He had several heart attacks, became a walking pharmacy and took pills for everything.

    Sure, you cannot control genetics but at least a healthy lifestyle is better than not trying to live a healthy lifestyle.

    It's better to be evenly yoked with a person with similar lifestyle habits IMHO. You two can relate better and have more in common.
    What does this woman eat?

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    What does this woman eat?
    If one person eats healthy and the other person (partner / spouse / significant other, etc.) doesn't eat healthy, often times it's separate meal preparations which is a hassle. At any rate, the healthy person ends up taking care of the unhealthy person. Either enjoy playing nursemaid eventually or choose a person who shares your similar lifestyle and habits.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Mnmny
    Do different eating habits affect relationships in the long term? I am dating a guy who is quite overweight but is also active whenever he needs to be. However, as we've been interacting more and more and talk about what we had during the day etc, i've come to realize that we have different eating habits and he also doesn't seem to give importance to physical activity. I wouldn't say he is lazy though. He gets work done when he has to. What gets on my nerves are things like eating sugar coated cereals, or fried foods more often than he should. While I am no health freak or a gym rat and by no means have a body with the ideal amount of fat, I do understand the importance of being accountable for how you take care of yourself especially when you're growing older. We don't live together yet so I don't know if this lifestyle is a result of him living alone and having a hectic work schedule which he why he doesn't care much. He is not very fussy about eating simple meals its just that he doesn't care about putting in too much effort in cooking as he is living alone.

    My concern here is not relating to his physical appearance or attraction but more about the health aspect. Is this something that should be addressed before you plan on moving in with someone?
    You are approaching this all wrong.

    "should i address this before we move in?" No, "if someone behaved like my boyfriend does - exercise is not a personal habit, he eats as if he was a 10 year old boy who was suddenly home alone" would I want to marry someone like that? I am not saying he will be or should be the man you marry or even your ages but if you are going to do something that is a commitment of some type --- and your answer is "no" - all that's going to happen is battles. or it will eat at you. And then because you are already living together, you will say 'but its too hard to move out..." Unless he has a wake up call on his own - this is the way he is. You either take him as he is - and he could get better or get way worse and develop diabetes. If the way he does not conduct his life is not for you ------ then find someone else.

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  6. #15
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    In otherwords, you are not vetting a roommate. "Can i stand Betty Sue hanging her laundry in the bathroom or the fact she doesn't eat with silverware?" But "can i stand the values of this man and how he treats himself if I am evaluating him as a potential down the road husband"

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    How he treats himself eventually impacts your life and lifestyle. Either you end up eating like him and not exercising regularly or you'll end up taking care of him because he's not going to last as long as a healthy person.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    They met once and live on opposite sides of the world. There are no plans . So it doesn't matter who eats what and his lifestyle has no impact on her half a world away.
    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    How he treats himself eventually impacts your life and lifestyle

  9. #18
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    In my home we eat many separate things and some of the same things. No issues at all. Husband and child! I am slightly healthier in my eating habits than my husband. We don't enjoy some of the same things and my son has gone through picky phases. None of us eats a large amount. I prepare some staples -steamed veggies/baked sweet potatoes/plain pasta and I'll buy a roast chicken for example and we mostly fend for ourselves. I make my son's meals. Growing up my mom cooked for all of us but my sister and I were picky and often ate separately and separate things especially as teenagers. No issues. But

    If my husband was a very unhealthy eater to an extent where it impacted his health/fitness/activity level that wouldn't work with my lifestyle or values.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    What Wiseman said. Bottom line.

    "They met once and live on opposite sides of the world. There are no plans . So it doesn't matter who eats what and his lifestyle has no impact on her half a world away."

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    They met once and live on opposite sides of the world. There are no plans . So it doesn't matter who eats what and his lifestyle has no impact on her half a world away.
    Yikes. That is all.

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