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Thread: A safe space for the heart broken

  1. #1
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    A safe space for the heart broken

    Hey ENA angels.

    I wanted to start a thread with the idea of a safe place to vent, support, and just push through this together.

    My story is a long one, so I won't delve too deep, but the bare bones of it is that I was engaged and out of the blue broken up with. We planned a life together, she was my best friend, my partner and someone who i honestly believed i would spend the rest of my life with.

    Its been a couple of months now, and it's a battle of trying to stay no contact, coping okay, crying and wondering why I don't just give up, telling myself that there is more to life than this, spinning out of control, scaring myself with thoughts of suicide and feeling like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.

    I'm in therapy, on anti depressants, exercising everyday, spending time with family, making new friends, working on career goals, letting myself ride the feelings, all the things suggested to move forward. But it's there, pushing me back down the rabbit hole whenever I get closer to the light.

    I make mistakes, break no contact and push myself back a few steps. No reply from the most recent attempt, which angers me but at least dissipates the stupid hope I've been trying to rid myself of for the past 2 months. Does it help? No, not really. I still miss her, still love her, still would run back to her if she wanted me.

    It's rough seas currently, and I'm hanging on for my life, but im still hanging on. We just have to hang on.

  2. #2
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    Hangin there bro, I too am in the same position with partner of 20years left me. This was a yr ago and I'm still messed up. Last thing o think of before sleep and first thing on waking. Hurts man

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Please don't stop believing or trying.

    Without getting into my own story, I promise you I know how you're feeling. I know how a person can take it only day by day, sometimes minute by minute and the feelings can become so overwhelming.

    I've been there. I know that place.

    But I want you to know that it's survivable. Every second that you move forward, IS healing and is getting you to a better place.
    I know you don't believe that right now. (I never did when I was in the same position)...but it is true.

    I did get through it, and no it wasn't easy. It took a long time. But the heartache did heal, the pain did go away.
    Give yourself time, keep moving forward. Keep healing.
    You WILL get through this. You will have good days again and eventually, you could even find love again with someone new.

    There is lots of hope left, even if it's tough to see or feel. It is there. Don't give up. You matter and you are still needed/wanted on this earth.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Please don't stop believing or trying.

    Without getting into my own story, I promise you I know how you're feeling. I know how a person can take it only day by day, sometimes minute by minute and the feelings can become so overwhelming.

    I've been there. I know that place.

    But I want you to know that it's survivable. Every second that you move forward, IS healing and is getting you to a better place.
    I know you don't believe that right now. (I never did when I was in the same position)...but it is true.

    I did get through it, and no it wasn't easy. It took a long time. But the heartache did heal, the pain did go away.
    Give yourself time, keep moving forward. Keep healing.
    You WILL get through this. You will have good days again and eventually, you could even find love again with someone new.

    There is lots of hope left, even if it's tough to see or feel. It is there. Don't give up. You matter and you are still needed/wanted on this earth.
    Thank You so much for your words. I don't want to give up, I'm doing everything I can to not do so. I just have to give myself time and be patient with myself. I know in the midst of this it's hard to see the light, but I'm trying to focus on myself and make the changes I need to be a better person from this.

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  6. #5
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    I swear by the gym. Its been my savior. Yes its a short fix for 2 hours a day but important your brain gets this shut off time.
    You may even meet someone there although you are probably thinking like me i don't want too lol

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You'll get through it. It'll feel like eternity but you will. Sherry's words resonated a lot. Take it day by day. Darcus, I hope you are ok too. Exercise sure helps!

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Darcus30
    I swear by the gym. Its been my savior. Yes its a short fix for 2 hours a day but important your brain gets this shut off time.
    You may even meet someone there although you are probably thinking like me i don't want too lol
    I totally agree with the gym being a savoir. I go every day for at least an hour and I feel like a new person afterwards. And the results are a great bonus too!
    I hope you are okay and find peace soon. We Will get there.

  9. #8
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    thanks Rose im hangong in there, still a daily battle but I'm not giving up. Hopefully I'll find my happiness in the end x

  10. #9
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    yes Alice for sure. It does where off an hour or so later but a great natural anti depressant!! My safe place x

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Darcus30
    thanks Rose im hangong in there, still a daily battle but I'm not giving up. Hopefully I'll find my happiness in the end x
    20 years is a long time. Good for you for staying grounded and working out. Eventually the hurt will hurt less and you'll be able to think clearer. I'm still a work in progress too. Probably one of the most eye-opening things for me was realizing that I'm better without than I am with people, things, associations that don't positively add to my life. Everyone will have an opinion on your situation, as I'm sure you've noticed, and plenty more will take advantage of it. Being able to think through things as I've had to didn't come from it plopping conveniently from the sky. I think it was more pure survival than anything else. Being sad is a luxury and I'm not sure I have that.

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