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Thread: Grad students, do you have meeting with your advisor outside of business hours?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How many dates have you been on and how long have you been talking?

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    He could have accidentally swiped it or deleted/unmatched it if he was cleaning up the messages. I agree with you about your gut feelings on this one. I thought you were seeing him on Sunday. Did he change it to Saturday or did you suggest it?

    If you don't feel good about meeting him, cancel it. Or wait for him to reach out to you. I think you're wasting your time. Find someone less unpredictable or childish. Or carry on checking out other potential dates.
    We had agreed on Saturday from the beginning. I think some posters here thought we said Sunday because he offered Saturday and Sunday up. But yeah Iím gonna wait for him to reach out. Thanks !

  3. #23
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    Grad students, do you have meeting with your advisor outside of business hours?

    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    How many dates have you been on and how long have you been talking?
    Itís still very early - we have been on 3 dates and talking 3-4 weeks. We donít text much in between dates which I am okay with. We are usually only texting to set up the date up

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you afraid he may be pulling back because you are bisexual?
    Originally Posted by jackie103
    Itís still very early - we have been on 3 dates and talking 3-4 weeks. We donít text much in between dates which I am okay with. We are usually only texting to set up the date up

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Are you afraid he may be pulling back because you are bisexual?
    We have not had that conversation yet so he doesnít know. Iím not afraid of anything right now, Iím just confused.

    Iíve heard of people deleting matches because they donít want to constantly see their location and be obsessed but I think thatís being too optimistic. And if he deleted me because he didnít want me to see him updating his profile, why would he feel the need to hide that when we arenít exclusive?

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by jackie103
    I do feel there reciprocity. But I feel like I need an insanity check... he has unmatched me on bumble. Deleted accounts still show the convo but our convo has completely disappeared which is how I know he unmatched.

    My gut and instincts are just telling me all this is a bit shady. Weíre not exclusive so if he is updating his profile, why would he feel the need to hide it?

    We agreed on doing something Saturday but have not set a time yet. I donít think Iím going to reach out for a time and let him come to me for that
    It's not shady an there's nothing confusing. He may have decided not to see you again (or not) -until there's a time set there is no next date. He may have unmatched you because he met you in person.

    Here is all you know -you've seen this guy a few times. You don't have another date set at this point. That means there is no next date. If he reaches out to you in the future to plan a date then you will know he wants another date with you. Till then move on. I wouldn't try to analyze what he has done or not done online. Just stick to the basic facts - right now there is no next date. He probably should after 3 dates reach out even if he doesn't wish to see you again but to me anyway 3 dates (with the first being a first meet -right?) it's ok not to do the whole "you're amazing but not for me, wish you well" stuff.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you communicating off the site? Then why bother looking at his dating profile? You need to be honest about your sexuality. That's a basic.
    Originally Posted by jackie103
    We have not had that conversation yet so he doesnít know. Iím not afraid of anything right now, Iím just confused. deleted me because he didnít want me to see him updating his profile, why would he feel the need to hide that when we arenít exclusive?

  9. #28
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    Grad students, do you have meeting with your advisor outside of business hours?

    I am more confused than ever... I texted him yesterday morning asking what time he was thinking. He responded that it was his friends birthday, they were going out to the lake for a couple hours and that he would call me when theyíre heading back, probably around 7.

    Around 6pm, he sends two voice messages and asks me how 8pm sounds and if I want to go to this bar he plays games at every Saturday night (I forgot he played pool every Saturday night). So I agree to meet him there.

    I show up and he is playing pool with his friend, who is this older male in his 50s so I join and play with them. I guess they also play chess every weekend so the older male then suggested we play chess, which POI agreed to. so I sat there watching these two men play chess for what seemed like hours.

    They did ask if I wanted to join in but I honestly had no interest in playing nor have I played in a while so I just said that Iím fine watching. POI did converse with me here and there like normally but I really started to wonder how he thought inviting me out to that was would enjoyable for me. Is he that clueless? And why he said he was free Saturday when he clearly wasnít...

    After they played a couples games, he suggest we all play pool again at which I mentioned that it was late and I was gonna head out. He said he should probably go too. He walked me out and we hugged and I left. He hasnít made the move to kiss me yet through seeing him 4 times now.

    I kind of chalked it up as being friend zoned but then got a text him his saying it was good to see me and he hopes I had fun playing with them and heíd loved to take me to another restaurant the next time he sees me. Is he leading me on?

  10. #29
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    No labels needed- no friend zone -you're not friends. You've been on a few dates. Nothing confusing -he acted in a rude and thoughtless way after inviting you to come spend time with him. I'd be done.

    He's not leading you on. I suggest you don't date if you jump to such negative conclusions about men's motivations. Yes, he is an individual person who acted thoughtlessly and rudely. He then made a comment about a restaurant. Did he suggest a time and place? Then it's just words. Words are not leading on - you're a grownup - you're not a sheep being lead on. If he follows up with a phone call and a suggestion of a time and place that works for you and you feel like giving him another chance then in the future -if that happens -do it. You accepted a last minute afterthought invitation for a group outing. He chose not to pay attention to you. I personally would be done. I would not label it as "friend zoned" or "lead on". Just an individual who lacks basic manners.

  11. #30
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    Meh, date watching him and his friend have a good time ? NOPE.

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