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Thread: I used my significant other as a reference and don't know how to navigate it

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by quark
    So should I maybe just attack it head on and address it? You know, it's funny.. during the interview, as expected, they asked what my weaknesses are. Well, one of them is that I am definitely a bad liar. They could either appreciate my honesty, or say get the hell out LOL
    No. Nobody needs to know your boyfriend's name, much less his full name. Do your work, be kind, listen more than speak, and avoid TMI.

    This is NOT a big deal.

  2. #12
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    Actually,this could eventually be an issue. I encourage you to take volunteer roles to gain more references. If you have a career that is interesting that warrants you going back to your high school to give a talk on "career day" - you could ask your old teacher for a reference. There are references that you give for employment verification and those you give for character references. Its one thing to use your BF for employment verification if he's the HR person at your old company (though i might disclose that somehow) - but a WHOLE other ballgame as a character reference.

    I did this in my 20s. I was eventually fired not because of it, but it added to a bucket of things - some not my fault, but this made me look fishy.
    It was a small office where people knew the names of spouses and probably met them also, people would ask what your weekend plans were, and "what is your boyfriend's name?" did come up. We also lived together ugh. As you get to know your coworkers, that does not come under "its illegal to ask". Perhaps in an interview it is, but people get to know eachother in the workplace and find out if people have kids to "connect" with things in common, or their marital status.

    If its a huge company with a big HR department, you *might* be able to slide this under the radar, but if its a smaller establishment, people don't miss things.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    I definitely would not make a joke about being a bad liar and it's your weakness. All of this will come off as immature, unprofessional and somewhat lacking in integrity. It basically shows you will do whatever to get your way...

    The best thing to do is keep your personal life separate from your work life and share as little as possible. Focus on doing a good job and remaining peofessional with everyone. Crossing boundaries, lying, then making it a joke, insults people's intelligence. And know that if they feel you lied during the interview process, that is grounds for termination.

    Work on being a person that doesn't need to lie.

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