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Thread: Family rental situation, and what do to after..

  1. #11
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    Have mom move in with Sister 1 in exchange for babysitting and a small fee.
    Have Sister 2 move to the city to get a job.
    Have Brother 1 get a job doing anything under the sun, and move in with you
    Have Sister 3 go to college, and when visiting, stay with Sister 1 and You

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Focus on your mother getting the appropriate housing, social services and help. Let the siblings figure out their own lives, budgets etc.
    Originally Posted by Guitarguy_82
    I hadn't considered the senior housing scenario for Mom, and that sounds like it could be a good option. I think her health is still something I would worry about though.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    In terms of your younger brother - necessity is the greatest teacher. Right now he thinks he can always get by mooching off you, others, his mom, so motivation is zero. Don't try to lecture him, instead tell him very directly - "I can't afford to support the situation anymore. Lease ends at x time, after that you are on your own completely." Be emphatic about that and leave him to figure out his life. Step aside and your silence might be more eloquent than any lecturing. Either way, you actually have to be mentally prepared to let him fall on his face if that's what it takes for him to wake up and start taking things seriously. Your other sister seems to be set in terms of she already landed a job and chefs do make a good living, especially talented ones. Your youngest is off to college and sounds like rearing to go. The only trouble is really your brother and you really do need to let him fall on his own sword.

    Senior communities, 55+ type communities are really great in terms of being very social. Again, it varies from place to place a lot so you have to look around quite a bit, but they can be great if you find the right fit. A small personal place when she wants to relax plus a nice mix of activities and social life might be just right for her. I have an aunt living in a community like that and she loves it. At first she was dubious, but it wasn't really an option, now she wouldn't trade it for the world. Made friends, they cook, they socialize, they have hobby classes, entertainment, etc, etc, etc. She has a more active social life than the rest of us combined. Quite eye opening. So not so much living alone, as enjoying her retirement. Frame it like that.

  4. #14
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    Sorry -- unless your brother is developmentally disabled, you let everyone figure things out for themselves with maybe the exception of the 18 year old who is graduating. I think that after the lease is up and your mother has had this positive rental experience under her belt, mom should get a place by herself with perhaps an extra cot or nook when the 18 year old is not in school. There are plenty of senior apartments who accept seniors with low income. I don't mean assisted living or a senior "community" necessarily because those are expensive. Let your brother figure it out - he has to sponge off your other siblings if they let him or find his own way -- or he will get sick of sleeping on mom's floor.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I'd tell Mom that I'm willing to take her to social services to sign up for senior housing for next year, and if she won't do that, then she'll need to work out her next lease with whoever else in the family she believes can help her get the credit and pay the rent.

    I'd be willing to take on the villain role in order to 'help' everyone else in the family to step up and take over whatever hero role they might wish to adopt for themselves--including Mom.

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