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Thread: I went through my boyfriend's phone

  1. #11
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    This guy wants to be a counselor? He sounds like the type who would sleep with his clients.

    Sorry OP, but you've known for a long time that he's not trustworthy and not a great boyfriend. It's time to accept that truth and move on. Let him throw his tantrum, blame you, blah, blah, blah - it's noise meant to distract you from the fact that he behaves badly when you're head is turned.

    Get rid of him and find a guy who you don't feel compelled to check up on.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I wouldn't call it cheating, he just has poor boundaries. What he is doing isn't something a person should be doing while in a committed relationship. BUT he thinks it's ok, and you don't. This isn't going to be fixable with counseling. All he is going to do is change his PWs and bury his activities to make it look he is being a good boy. If you were smart you would just next him.

    Next time, don't date a guy that has a bunch of females, flings, ex lovers on his friends list.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You two can hash out the blame game, he's 35% percent and if he has it his way youre the other 65. . . or the other way around. But no matter how you slice this your snooping was a symptom of something else. That makes you both wrong.

    I've been in your position. The naughing sense that something is wrong. And you know what? I was right everytime. The lesson here is to listen what your gut is telling you. Not his phone and not from strange woman from other countries.

    -Then you have a relationship where not once does it spike your insecurity. Everything lines up and you wonder why on earth you wallowed around and drug yourself down with someone who's values are clearly not in alignment with your own.

    I don't see any coming back from this. He isn't going to admit that he seeks the attention of other women and will acknowledge how it makes you feel disrespected. Instead he'll paint you crazy and you'll turn yourself inside out and buy into it, just for the sake of staying in a bad relationship.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    My own private rule is that I won't mess with anyone who is still involved with an ex lover in any way, shape or form beyond shared children. You've found out WHY.

    I'd go live in my own apartment and move my focus onto healing and finding someone loyal and loving. This guy is a gaslighter, which is why you ended up snooping in the first place.

    Bottom line: if someone raises enough mistrust to prompt snooping, you already know what you need to know. Proving it to yourself is a waste of your time and dignity.

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