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Thread: My boyfriend can't decide if I am attractive or not

  1. #21
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    Grimes,

    I was in a toxic relationship with a guy who wouldnít sleep with me because of my weight! He said what your guy said ďNice face, eyes and hair and liked the way I dressed.Ē I called him out on it and it was the same old ď Iím sorry, I like you just lose twenty pounds and I may reconsider.Ē I dumped him and now Iím in a healthy relationship for a year and a half with someone who doesnít make disparaging remarks!

    If youíre worried about this guy being the only guy that gets you, youíre wrong. There are plenty of sweet guys out there who take you and treasure you for all you have to offer.

    This guy needs to go!

  2. #22
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    OP, there are people that are like that. Have zero filter or just say whats on their mind or they have no idea what their words do to another person. I don't think he is being purposely mean or controlling or anything like that. Its just who he is and he is not going to change. He will probably have a temporary adjustment but eventually he will go back to who he is.

    So the question is. Are you okay with it? Can you live with someone like that? If you are okay with it, then you accept that's how he is and don't try to change him because it wont work. You can probably remind him from time to time that his words hurt, but just goes back to my question of would you be okay with it?

    You could love him and he could love you. But just by mentioning it on here then its obvious that it does bother you. You could try couples counseling but in the end he is who he is. Its going to take a seismic shift in his life to change or he just goes about his business.

    In the end, its up to you. If you cant live with it, then you let him go and you will find someone else. If you can live with it and are happy then Im happy for you. Choice is yours.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You need to stop asking for approval directly and indirectly? He'll pay for implants? What a prince. This is the same guy who stiffed you on the lease thing. he does not have your best interests at heart. He's immature.
    Originally Posted by Grimes
    I have wanted breast enlargement in the past I don't now and have not mentioned it in a while but he does say he'll pay for it

    Things have been said like I look like a slug, I really am quite fat

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You need to stop asking for approval directly and indirectly? He'll pay for implants? What a prince. This is the same guy who stiffed you on the lease thing. he does not have your best interests at heart. He's immature.
    Sorry to bump an old thread but if anyone is worried it's over now. I'm pretty broken up over it. Hopefully time will show it's positive. Just sucks pretty hard right now

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Grimes
    Sorry to bump an old thread but if anyone is worried it's over now. I'm pretty broken up over it. Hopefully time will show it's positive. Just sucks pretty hard right now
    Iím happy you ended it! Iím sorry youíre hurting though. Just know you did the right thing and it leaves you open to the good guys out there.

  7. #26
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    So what is the question? Should you end this relationship? The answer is a huge YES!! This guy is horrible. If he doesn't find you attractive, he's welcome to leave. But constantly saying degrading things to you is just horrible. That speaks of being a bad human being. Even if he's on the autism spectrum and speaks his mind, that's irrelevant. If this is what he really thinks of you, why do you need him and this treatment? I'm sure you look fine and this is just abusive crape he's feeding you. How can you allow yourself to be treated like this!

  8. #27
    Bronze Member quark's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Grimes
    Sorry to bump an old thread but if anyone is worried it's over now. I'm pretty broken up over it. Hopefully time will show it's positive. Just sucks pretty hard right now
    Don't be sorry to bump your own thread. I am so happy to hear this, and I wish you so much happiness in the future! I hope you feel better already, you should. I know it's hard to start over, and reveal yourself all over again to someone new, but it is so much better than dealing with that BS just for the sake of familiarity.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    My boyfriend can't decide if I am attractive or not
    I'd leave the guy to ponder that, and I'd go find a BF who sees me a fabulous.

    We never get any wasted time back for do-overs.

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