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Thread: My boyfriend can't decide if I am attractive or not

  1. #11
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Grimes
    It's more I have stuggled quite a bit in the past. I don't really have family because of abuse. It feels a bit daunting to start again and let another person know all that. Or that they'd want to stay after with my personality etc.
    And you think staying with someone who treats you the way he does will make things better?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He's verbally abusive and you are well aware of that. End it.

  3. #13
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    So let's say you have a daughter one day. And he tells her, "you're not pretty like your friends." But then the next day says, "you're so beautiful, but you shouldn't eat so much." I would hope you would say, ". You're not one to judge!"

    OP, what makes you think this guy's poop sells like roses? It doesn't. I once dated a guy (I stress once) who said I wasn't beautiful. Whatever! That's on him. A secure, confident guy can see beauty in all. Your guy is a chump.

  4. #14
    your partner should only say supportive things. he doesn't have to be dishonest, but he should not deliberately say things to hurt your feelings.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    No, you're not giving him a hard time. Your boyfriend is unkind and heartless. He lacks empathy. He gives you backhanded compliments. He'll pay for your breast enlargement. What a guy!

    What do I think? It's time to replace him with a new boyfriend.

  7. #16
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    This guy is awful.

    As long as you're still dating this goon, you're not being hard enough on him. He should be gone.

  8. #17
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    I confronted him on what I listed here and he was very apologetic. He says he doesn't know why he says these things. He says he loves me, what I look like and that he doesn't remember saying most of these things. Not sure if that changes much.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member NowandZen's Avatar
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    He has decided. Either he doesn't find you attractive and stays around for his own reasons, or he does but he buys into this bull spit about women like a man to treat them like crap. I'm not your Dad, but if you were my daughter, I'd tell you to run, not walk away from this jerk.

  10. #19
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    You should really point out anytime he says something that hurts you or even rubs you the wrong way, even if days later when it sinks in, and say, "what??! Excuse me??!!!" If he doesn't even realize he's being a dumbarse, then he needs some training. Don't give him anymore slack when he says dumb stuff to you. You deserve respect and adoration. Not BS! Stop swallowing your bad feelings. Be upfront!

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately now you have entered the 'contrite/apologetic' cycle of the 'cycle of abuse' (<- Google it) . Of course he doesn't 'remember saying much of it', it's a win-win for him. He gaslights you and disowns responsibility. Don't keep signing up for his sadistic attitude. Men who love you don't put you down.
    Originally Posted by Grimes
    I confronted him on what I listed here and he was very apologetic. He says he doesn't know why he says these things. He says he loves me, what I look like and that he doesn't remember saying most of these things.

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