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Thread: Ex Fiancé Broke Up with Me

  1. #1
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    Ex Fiancé Broke Up with Me

    I love my ex fiancé still. She left me back in March 2020. We continued to talk as friends. We only talked about coronavirus. Whenever I tried to bring up the subject about getting back together she would get angry and hang up. This situation continued until May when she told me to never contact her again. I ended up reaching out to her sister and brother in law which upset her more. I then reached out to her in early July. She said she never wants to speak to me again, I’m dead to her, and that she feels like she is being stalked. We were together for 1.5 years. We are both 31. I really love her and wish I could right my wrongs. The last straw for her was when she felt I did not support her when her aunt passed. She asked for some money for the funeral, I gave it to her and asked her what we were eating for dinner, she cursed me out, and I took the money back. The next day I broke up with her and tried to get back with her after the funeral. We worked it out until March came. How long if ever should I wait to reach out to her again? Will she ever reach out? Is this salvageable?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You don't get it. You are dead to her, as you have said. She doesn't want to talk to you, or hear from you. Or have anything to do with you. I'm sorry, but it's OVER. Yes it hurts and you feel like crap, but you need to face the truth. Leave her alone, don't bug her or her family or you will find a cop at your door with a restraining order.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    She asked for some money for the funeral, I gave it to her and asked her what we were eating for dinner, she cursed me out, and I took the money back. The next day I broke up with her and tried to get back with her after the funeral.
    I don't know what else went on in the relationship... reading the above I see a person that doesn't have the capacity to support someone through what would likely be a difficult and emotional situation in their life.

    You also don't seem to respect her feelings or boundaries as you continue to pursue her even though she has told you multiple times to stop. Pursuing someone when they tell you to leave them alone isn't cute; it's aggressive, self-centered, and borderline stalking.

    Leave her alone and take some time to reflect on how you might begin to respect the feelings and boundaries of others before you enter another relationship.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    If she already filed a police incident report, more contact from you will mean more trouble for you.

    I'm curious to know why you interpret "You are dead to me, don't ever contact me again" as "please contact me again".

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    OP, when someone tells you that she is feeling stalked, the answer to your question of when to contact her again is NEVER. You never contact her again because if you do, next step for her will be to get a restraining order and you'll have earned that.

    Whatever your relationship was, it doesn't sound very healthy and it is definitely over. I'd tread carefully about blaming yourself for that exclusively. Asking you for money and then cussing you out over a simple question is not sane or acceptable behavior. Your reaction wasn't the best either. This relationship sounds mutually toxic and like you both bring out the worst possible in each other. What you call love is more like addiction to high drama, adrenaline rush rather than love and respect.

  7. #6
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    I agree I am going to leave her alone for as long as it takes. I really just want her back most of the relationship was good just the end.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Do you typically disrespect and ignore people when they set a firm boundary?
    Don't contact her again.

  9. #8
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    We had great times together. I mean she said yet to getting married to me. I believe that the aunt situation and covid combined caused so much stress on the relationship that we argued way too much. Most days were good. We would argue about once every month but it wasn’t as intense as the end.

  10. #9
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    I don’t want you all to focus on the negative aspects at the end. We had good times. We went to universal studios together. We talked extensively and exchanged each other’s thoughts. We went out together and had a ton of fun. It’s just the end that was way too drama filled.

  11. #10
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    I hear you. I just don’t know how to get her back it’s not about that. I love her so much.

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