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Thread: Ex Fiancé Broke Up with Me

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Love7amber3
    I love my ex fiancé still. She left me back in March 2020. We continued to talk as friends. We only talked about coronavirus. Whenever I tried to bring up the subject about getting back together she would get angry and hang up. This situation continued until May when she told me to never contact her again. I ended up reaching out to her sister and brother in law which upset her more. I then reached out to her in early July. She said she never wants to speak to me again, I’m dead to her, and that she feels like she is being stalked. We were together for 1.5 years. We are both 31. I really love her and wish I could right my wrongs. The last straw for her was when she felt I did not support her when her aunt passed. She asked for some money for the funeral, I gave it to her and asked her what we were eating for dinner, she cursed me out, and I took the money back. The next day I broke up with her and tried to get back with her after the funeral. We worked it out until March came. How long if ever should I wait to reach out to her again? Will she ever reach out? Is this salvageable?
    It sounds like you feel unheard.

    What were the wrongs you are mentioning? How do you feel you can right them? Just curious.

  2. #12
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    She said yes to marrying me. It was not completely toxic. We loved each other at one point. I want a new relationship with her.

  3. #13
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    I wish I could’ve have supported her more when her aunt passed. I wish I could’ve gave her space when she asked for it. I wish I could have bought us a house like she wanted. I wish I could still show her how much I love her. She did a lot of wrong too. She had anger issues. I wish I could have understood that and gave her a safe space to relieve her anger and not react negatively to it.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Love7amber3
    We had great times together. I mean she said yet to getting married to me. I believe that the aunt situation and covid combined caused so much stress on the relationship that we argued way too much. Most days were good. We would argue about once every month but it wasn’t as intense as the end.
    Well....if stress causes your relationship to break down, then quite frankly you need to recognize that this is more of a dodged divorce than a relationship meant to be. Life will throw a great deal of stress your way and how you handle that both as a couple and as individuals is pretty much everything. Either you handle it well or you learn that you cannot manage life's storms at all together and should part ways. It won't get easier, especially if you add children, diapers, money problems, sick parents that need care, etc, etc, etc to that list of stressors. Life doesn't let up and when you are choosing a partner, you better be sure that they aren't just fair weather fun variety but can actually handle all the bad stuff with grace.

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  6. #15
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    I have genuinely changed since the breakup. I’ve been in therapy 3 times a week. I’ve become better at my business. I’ve even created better relationships with my family members and friends. I wish she could see my growth and care about it.

  7. #16
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    I agree. I mean the stress levels were insanely high. I believe I didn’t make it any easier on her nor her on me. I really want a solution to get back in contact with her and not so much doom and gloom. I know I have to give her the space she wants now. Do you think if I wait a year to contact her would that be good?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    The right woman for you will appreciate all the work you've done.

    This woman, who told you you're dead to her and to leave her alone, is not the right woman. No matter how good things were before that.

  9. #18
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    I just want advice on getting her back.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Love7amber3
    I agree. I mean the stress levels were insanely high. I believe I didn’t make it any easier on her nor her on me. I really want a solution to get back in contact with her and not so much doom and gloom. I know I have to give her the space she wants now. Do you think if I wait a year to contact her would that be good?
    NO, nope, noppitty, nope. Never means never. OP, you need to focus on healing and moving on. Like forget her.

    As for therapy, three sessions aren't going to magically change you as a human being. Either there was nothing wrong with you in the first place or you need a great deal more work on yourself. Sounds like the work that you need is learning how to let go and how to keep away from toxic people. When you mention things like "should have bought her a house"....all I can say to that is it's not your job to buy her a house. Either it's something you want as a couple and BOTH work toward that as a team, or you aren't a team and need to part ways. There is no you taking on that kind of a burden as if you are single or her ATM.

    I'll say this again - you've dodged a bullet and it would really good for you to start wrapping your mind around that...with the help of a therapist if you must. You also mention that she has anger issues? Really? How would that work if you had a child? Are you willing to use your brain and common sense or just want to wallow and pine for someone who sounds utterly psycho?

  11. #20
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    She isn’t psycho man. I just want advice to get her back she really is a beautiful person inside and out.

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