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Thread: Unsure about my boyfriend

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by LaHermes
    Well, OP, you asked:

    "What do you think?"

    Straight answer. You are both so so young.

    In say eight years time tell me where you are at.

    At 22 all life is before you. You don't need support.

    It's true, we're young! Just the feelings are very strong

  2. #12
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Don't be scared, Grimes. There are people you can always ask for advice, and the more objective the better, I might add.

    What might seem scary can actually be exhilarating. You'll see.

    And I do understand about the feelings, OP. I was also once twenty-two!! At 20 I struck out on my own, and the last thing on my mind was to tie myself to anyone, at least not for several years.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by LaHermes
    Don't be scared, Grimes. There are people you can always ask for advice, and the more objective the better, I might add.

    And I do understand about the feelings, OP. I was also once twenty-two!! At 20 I struck out on my own, and the last thing on my mind was to tie myself to anyone, at least not for several years.
    LaHermes, I think you're right in the end. I think it's going to be a case of looking out for me and if he fits in the puzzle, he does. If he doesn't, there'll be others. I really don't want to wait about here till he decides. Thank you

  4. #14
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    That's the spirit! Onward and upwards! Life is full of surprises. Believe me.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    He's not that serious about you, got "cold feet" and doesn't wish to commit to you.

    Both of you are 2 hours apart. Be prepared to drift apart if you two remain 2 hours apart. Not everyone is willing to engage in time consuming back 'n forth travel to see each other.

    Don't expect much from him. Continue living on your own and enjoy your independence! Living together is way overrated with bills, chores, errands and running a household.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Do what's best for you. Don't put your life on hold for someone else. I had a partner like that awhile ago and it didn't work for similar reasons. Deep down, perhaps unwilling to imagine it at the time, I already knew in my gut that we weren't right together. In hindsight I should have been more vocal about it, had a bit more courage to face that, but I didn't and went ahead and bought my own place. Without him or without talking about it at all. It didn't work and we split up a little less than a year later.

    This should be an exciting time for you - school has finished. You're on your way.

    I'm sorry this is happening. Keep up the momentum with other areas of your life. Maybe it's time to take a look at whether this relationship is as fulfilling or something you see yourself in.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Speaking only for myself, I'd lean forward into my own solo plans. Period.

    If the guy ever wants to catch up with you, he'll have zero problem doing so. If not, then he'll keep inventing barriers, and you get to decide whether he's worth holding out for.

    The guy's worthiness as a BF versus his readiness as a live-in partner can be two different things. You get to decide whether one is dependent on the other, but it makes no sense to pause your life to wait for anyone.

    Head high, move forward, and you'll thank yourself later. BF will either catch up with you or not, but that's up to him, not you--unless you're done with waiting for him. That's valid.

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