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Thread: Do I tell a possible blind date I'm overweight?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    That's ok. Everyone at some point does not look their best. If you're open to getting to know someone intimately or date, you'll need some of that confidence to carry through. At the end of the day he can take it or leave it.

    Don't agree to doing anything you're not comfortable with. You sound like a very sweet person. He should match you in your level of care and consideration. If you don't sense that, don't pursue it.

  2. #22
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    I say go on the date with confidence and your head held high. I have a friend who constantly reminds me ďYou have fat, you arenít fat.Ē So donít become confined to your body in your way of thinking. Thereís so much more to you and if he doesnít like it, then you dodged a bullet!

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I would tell your possible date that you're overweight. Revealing your weight and height could actually save you a lot of time and trouble in the first place. Why go out on a date if he judges you on the first date based upon your physical appearance? I wouldn't want to go through the hassle of a first date if my weight and pounds are an issue with him. If he's unfazed by your weight and height, this is a good sign! I'd be honest and upfront before going out on a date with him. I would want to know now what he prefers; 220 pounds at 5' 6" or someone else. I wouldn't waste my time, energy and resources on a date who would dump me at first glance. If he's going to reject you, better now than later IMHO.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Can you look up his social media? You know his first, last name and location, no? Also make sure your own social media has upbeat fun photos and posts.

    Getting your persona out there is a start especially if you hope to try online dating at some point. It helps to have some flattering pics. You need to be yourself. Remember there are plus size models in sports illustrated now, so tastes vary.

    In this case since it's through mutual friends there is no need for descriptions or pics. However in online dating apps a flattering face and full length pic will avert any "deer in the headlights". Try to take the stance of the chooser, not the chosen.
    Originally Posted by Wafils
    To answer the inquiries about *his* appearance: the impression I have is he might be bigger too, he's kind of a broader/tall build overall. I've been told this guy is pretty easy going, but somewhat introverted. I too am introverted. Overall I'm very open to meeting and ready to dip my toes in..JUST don't like feeling I don't look my best. I kept putting off dating to lose weight first but who knows if that day will come!

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    I would tell your possible date that you're overweight. Revealing your weight and height could actually save you a lot of time and trouble in the first place. Why go out on a date if he judges you on the first date based upon your physical appearance? I wouldn't want to go through the hassle of a first date if my weight and pounds are an issue with him. If he's unfazed by your weight and height, this is a good sign! I'd be honest and upfront before going out on a date with him. I would want to know now what he prefers; 220 pounds at 5' 6" or someone else. I wouldn't waste my time, energy and resources on a date who would dump me at first glance. If he's going to reject you, better now than later IMHO.
    I agree with this too! It is better to know now then wait for first date. Then you donít waste your time and emotional investment getting ready for the date.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Tell him. Or ask the mutual friend to give each other your contact details and share a picture beforehand (full body).
    I cannot tell you the number of times I have heard on either end of someone going on a date and finding out that their date wasn't honest and they are now trying to find a way to leave asap.

    Don't do that to someone. Weight can be an issue for people, yes, it's true. Even though some like to ignore the fact or push it under the rug. Personality is great, but a huge part of dating is physical attraction and anyone that tells you different, is lying.

    Be honest, be straightforward. You want someone to like you for those traits and not because you fooled or tricked them or left out information at any point.
    Because no one would want someone to treat them the same way.

    At least when you send pics to each other for the first time (before meeting), you will both know what to expect and you yourself won't be scared to see him because you will know that he already knows what you look like and still wants to meet.

  8. #27
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    If your friends set you up, they know you are fat. Its not a secret. They would not set you up with a guy if he knew he flat out wouldn't date a fat woman. So just go on a date. Dress in a way that flatters your figure - don't dress in too small clothing, etc. and fix your hair and makeup.

  9. #28
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    Itís a blind date!!! Enjoy!!
    Do not look him up on social media.
    And do not tell him about your insecurities unless thatís the first impression you want to give him!?

    Trust your friends and go with the flow!

  10. #29
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    I would think your mutual friends already described you to him wouldn't you?

    I am all about honesty but in this case it isn't about that because you haven't misrepresented yourself to him or anyone. Go into with no expectations other than getting your feet wet in dating again.

    Also you do need to address your unhealthy eating habits. As you get older it is so much harder to keep the weight off and stay at a healthy weight so this could be the perfect catalyst for a eating habits make over of sorts. No matter what happens in your dating life being healthy is for you, not some guy you are trying to attract.

    Best wishes

    Lost

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    I would tell your possible date that you're overweight. Revealing your weight and height could actually save you a lot of time and trouble in the first place. Why go out on a date if he judges you on the first date based upon your physical appearance? I wouldn't want to go through the hassle of a first date if my weight and pounds are an issue with him. If he's unfazed by your weight and height, this is a good sign! I'd be honest and upfront before going out on a date with him. I would want to know now what he prefers; 220 pounds at 5' 6" or someone else. I wouldn't waste my time, energy and resources on a date who would dump me at first glance. If he's going to reject you, better now than later IMHO.
    For blind dates, MANY blind dates do not end up with second dates due to many factors aside from weight - the two people didn't "click" conversaton-wise, someone who is a real head turner picked their nose the entire time, couldn't find common ground or one reminds the other one physically of an ex. Maybe he hasn't dated women who are overweight, but her personality/similar outlook and smile/facial beauty influence him and he decides its not important.

    I don't think her friend would set her up with someone who would reject her from first glance - he would at least see how the date went

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