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Thread: Do I tell a possible blind date I'm overweight?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    I'm not all that photogenic either. However, if I were you, I'd ask a friend or family member to take photos of you in different lighting--outside, inside, by a window, etc. and try different outfits. Sometimes there's a good photo in the bunch. I'd probably exchange photos, because I'd rather not waste time and have a big build up if one or both of you aren't each other's cup of tea. Of course liking each other's photos doesn't guarantee success in person, but it's one hump to get over. Take care.
    I like this. Also, since you are getting back out there, you will need photos if you are considering online dating. I also wouldn't send a photo unless he asked, as it usually isn't done for a blind date.

    Congrats on the weight loss.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 07-16-2020 at 11:59 AM.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wafils
    I just want to avoid any disappointment or the dreaded 'deer in the head lights' (or worse) look upon meeting.
    Totally understandable. But also? Totally impossible to avoid. Key is to learn to chalk it up to "dating" rather than to "you," or your weight, or your whatever.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's possible you may not click or care for him. He's probably nervous that he's not tall enough or rich enough or smart enough or driving a cool car etc etc etc. He's just human also. Just be your best and exude confidence. Smile, have fun, relax.
    Originally Posted by Wafils
    I just want to avoid any disappointment or the dreaded 'deer in the head lights' (or worse) look upon meeting.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    I mean I'll be honest, and not at all to take away from the amazing progress you've made to improve your health through weight loss (seriously, congrats and keep it up!), but if you're obese and it isn't exactly a new thing, I doubt your friends are going to try to set you up for a blind date with a fitness model. Not because different body types can't or shouldn't be attracted to each other. Just a matter of them being kind to both of you accounting for the odds. I'd suspect the guy is likewise packing some extra weight himself. No biggie. And if that's the case, and if he's gonna then hold your weight against you despite it, that's a bullet dodged.

    In any case, given you guys haven't yet spoken or decided whether to actually go on a date with each other, I think you're getting way ahead of yourself. Let's wait for that to happen first. If it does, do a nice and light, low stakes date like grabbing a coffee. While anecdotal, I can count on one finger how many times friends trying to set up friends has turned into any kind of success story, so I'd put yourself at ease grounding your expectations a bit (without getting cynical of course).

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  6. #15
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    I would be honest if he asks. Congrats on the weight loss!! The number one thing the many many men I met and communicated with through set ups or online sites- the number one thing they complained about was women who were dishonest before meeting about weight. Age was second. Like women who complain when men are dishonest about height. If he doesn't ask no need to share.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Just a question Wafils.

    Have your acquaintances given you any kind of description of HIM? Physical and otherwise?

    Just wondering.

    And yes, Wiseman:

    "He's probably nervous that he's not tall enough or rich enough or smart enough or driving a cool car etc etc etc."
    Last edited by LaHermes; 07-16-2020 at 01:10 PM.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    If you have mutual acquaintances they may have mentioned things about you to him and about him to you. Just relax, go see what happens. Do not use any sort of preemptive strike. Try to make it a very casual situation perhaps a double date with your friends.
    I agree with this^^
    Your friends must think you'd be a match and they know what you look like. I don't think they would set up for disappointment.
    People come in all shapes and sizes. It's probably best to come from a place of confidence rather than doing some sort of preemptive warning. It kinda showcases your insecurity about it.
    Confidence is attractive. Be your best self and have some fun.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I agree. I don't think it's necessary to draw attention to your weight. Continue being the fabulous you and enjoy yourself.

    Spend more time taking a look at him and seeing whether he's dating material and whether you like what you see.

  10. #19
    Member Wafils's Avatar
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    Haha thanks everyone, I'm definitely way out ahead of myself (as always when it comes to dating/relationships/attraction etc).

    To answer the inquiries about *his* appearance: the impression I have is he might be bigger too, he's kind of a broader/tall build overall. The deal is, my tastes lookswise are all over the map anyways: none of my exes looked remotely alike. I can find tall or short, thinner or heavier, more hair or less, etc, attractive as long as they click with me, not always an easy feat given my reserves.

    I'm mostly concerned with shared sense of humor/ability to connect and communicate over any aspect of appearance. I've been told this guy is pretty easy going, but somewhat introverted. I too am introverted. Overall I'm very open to meeting and ready to dip my toes in..JUST don't like feeling I don't look my best. I kept putting off dating to lose weight first but who knows if that day will come!
    Last edited by Wafils; 07-16-2020 at 01:09 PM. Reason: Grammar

  11. #20
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Quite right OP: As long as they click with you.

    "I'm mostly concerned with shared sense of humor/ability to connect and communicate"



    Anyhow, nothing ventured, nothing gained! Good luck.

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