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Thread: When do we stop dating others?

  1. #21
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    If you already slept with the dude, you sort of lose or watered down the whole "exclusive talk" thing. You showed him you are willing to bonk him with no guarantee that he isn't seeing or sleeping with others.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    If you already slept with the dude, you sort of lose or watered down the whole "exclusive talk" thing. You showed him you are willing to bonk him with no guarantee that he isn't seeing or sleeping with others.
    So, I'd initiate a convo about myself rather than making it about him. I'd tell him that I've come to learn that I bond when I'm sexual. I can only speak for myself, so I just want him know to that I've stopped dating other people.

    See where that goes. If he volunteers that he's not going to date anyone else either, problem solved. If he doesn't go there, you'll know to pull back on being sexual with him unless and until he becomes a safe partner.

    This doesn't mean holding this over his head, but it does mean curbing him sexually with an honest statement at that time. "I've enjoyed being sexual with you, but I also told you that I bond when I have sex. To me, that means monogamy. If you ever decide that you want to limit your sexual activity to only me, you can let me know that. Otherwise, I'd like for us to keep getting to know one another outside of the bedroom."

    You don't need to finesse this with the right person. If you're uncomfortable with these kinds of conversations, what should that tell you about whether he's a good match for you, or not?

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If you can exchange your body fluids you can exchange your thoughts and feelings.
    Originally Posted by mayflower165
    But these are random moments after sex

  4. #24
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mayflower165
    My question is ..would it be appropriate for me to broach the subject of whether or not hes dating others? Where does he see this going? There are times when well kiss and he says I want you, but . Im thinking of maybe asking him In what ways? Or something along those lines. Is it too soon? Should I not even bring up the topic to him?
    I'll never understand this, but if you were comfortable enough to get naked with him, why would you hesitate to ask him some simple common sense questions?

    It may be too late to lock the gate since the horse has already got out, but why risk your health, along with your heart?

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  6. #25
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    You don't, if he's not asking you first then he's just not that into you.

    Date at least 3 men at the same time, prevents you from being clingy. Rinse and repeat.

    Key word, date, don't have sex with any of them because after you have sex, all logic flies out the window and whoever you end up having sex with will be your favorite even if he's not the right one for you. So KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED and have fun.

    You need to be in a mindset that your commitment is the prize, if he doesn't live up to your standards you can easily replace him.

  7. #26
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    Just an update! On our last date, he approached the topic first and we both said we would date each other exclusively from now on and see and talk to each other a bit more during the week!

  8. #27
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mayflower165
    Just an update! On our last date, he approached the topic first and we both said we would date each other exclusively from now on and see and talk to each other a bit more during the week!

    Terrific! EnjOy!

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