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Thread: Mum keeps scolding me

  1. #1
    Member 1imaan1's Avatar
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    Mum keeps scolding me

    She scolds even for little things. I understand she's going through menopause phase but that doesn't mean she will get angry at her children. And how on earth is it my fault if she has mood swings? It is very rare that i have speak back and stand up for myself. Most of the times she keeps on scoffing, scolding. I don't take her words seriously because she doesn't mean it but still i get upset at the anger and scolds. And then suddenly she changes. She speaks softly and politely and treats me as her favourite kid. But how do i cope with the scolds and anger??

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Talk to a trusted adult outside of the house.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why haven't you asked your parents to take you to a physician? The whole household sounds toxic and hormonal, not just you and your mother.

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 1imaan1
    She scolds even for little things. I understand she's going through menopause phase but that doesn't mean she will get angry at her children. And how on earth is it my fault if she has mood swings? It is very rare that i have speak back and stand up for myself. Most of the times she keeps on scoffing, scolding. I don't take her words seriously because she doesn't mean it but still i get upset at the anger and scolds. And then suddenly she changes. She speaks softly and politely and treats me as her favourite kid. But how do i cope with the scolds and anger??
    It is not your fault for her mood swings. What you're describing is very common. If periods, menopause, cycles and overall women's health are not talked about or considered taboo/embarrassing in the community or where women are shamed for their phases in life, there's usually lack of education and difficulties coping with these life changes. I also came from a conservative background like yours and women's health was not discussed or something that needed explaining.

    I think you could benefit a lot from looking at online resources. If you seek a therapist, make sure it's a licensed therapist who understands women's health.

    You need coping strategies in dealing with stress and inconsistencies in mood related to hormonal changes. I'm sure you're also trying to make sense of your own thoughts and your hormones are also playing a role.

    Women should not be shamed for their hormones. If your mother is not able to manage her moods, start looking at yourself. There may be generational and educational divides between your mother and you. She probably did not have the internet or any sources of therapy available to her and if she was raised in the 50s or 60s she most definitely wasn't educated about women's health enough.

    The differences have to start with you. No, it's not fair and you'll probably think it's a pain just like I did for a long time. It starts with you educating yourself and stopping that cycle of shaming and reintroduce more understanding, if not for others, then for yourself for your personal reasons and coping strategies.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't they require prepayment with a credit card? Can a 15 y/o do that or get treated without parental consent?
    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    If you seek a therapist, make sure it's a licensed therapist who understands women's health.

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Don't they require prepayment with a credit card? Can a 15 y/o do that or get treated without parental consent?
    This may be more helpful when she's older. My point is to start discussions about women's health on her own and stop the negative talk or shaming of women's health overall. Whether that includes the help of a therapist or not later on, it's up to her. That autonomy and decision lies with her and she shouldn't be waiting until she has a credit card or of legal age to start more healthy discussions about mental health or women's health.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    A 15 y/o CHILD should not have to understand her mother's health issues, her parents marriage or pay for therapists online to try to fix her parents. She should talk to to a trusted local adult relative, neighbor, teacher, clergy, whatever.
    Originally Posted by 1imaan1
    I understand she's going through menopause phase but that doesn't mean she will get angry at her children.

  9. #8
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I found menopause EXTREMELY difficult. My emotions were uncontrollable, I had migraines that made me vomit 3 days a week. My hair started falling out and my skin got much drier. I barely knew who I was. It took about 5 years for my hormones to settle. It was a HORRIBLE time of my life. My son and husband just stayed out of my way.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    A 15 y/o CHILD should not have to understand her mother's health issues, her parents marriage or pay for therapists online to try to fix her parents. She should talk to to a trusted local adult relative, neighbor, teacher, clergy, whatever.
    What if there isn't one or if she feels uncomfortable due to the way women are treated in the community? Does she keep staying in a state of confusion without educating herself or recognizing her role as a young woman also?

  11. #10
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    The thing is women need to know what happens in menopause 15 or not. My mom knew ZERO about women’s health when sent into the world and taught me better. My son knows TONS about women’s health. I let him know all kinds of knowledge .

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