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Thread: Advice required! In two minds

  1. #1

    Advice required! In two minds

    hi guys,

    I need your opinions asap! I dated a girl about for about 2 years on and off but we still are to some degree friends, we've never been on terrible terms or ever really gone through a major breakup together

    She is now recently single after dating a guy for 3-4 years and we hadn't spoke or even seen each other once during that time. She hit me up and we have been chatting for a few months and have caught up once. I now can't stop thinking about her and it's doing my head in.

    I know she is chatting to plenty of other guys including a few of my friends, she has even caught up with a close friend of mine which made me really angry and jealous. I know she has cheated on her previous boyfriends including the latest one and ones back in high school when we met.

    Despite all this i still can't seem to get her out of my head! I've tried ghosting her but i don't know what to do, we can never be just friends because I always end up getting attached

    We get on really well and I think there is definitely unfinished business but i dont know whether to give it one more shot and pursue her, or block her out completely


  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    She's looking to fill voids from her breakup, but you're still in the friend zone.

  3. #3
    I probably should of mentioned I never really have been in the friend zone with her, when we do talk there is a lot of flirting and we have slept together fairly recently..but I agree she is filling voids

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Her history of cheating should be a red flag to you.

    Give her room to heal. I don't think you should sleep with her again if you have doubts about her in general. It's a bad start to anything genuine happening.

    What she needs most right now are real friends, genuine friends. Not men who sleep with her and then block her or male friends of friends who also treat her the same. She's looking in all the wrong places unfortunately. Hopefully she learns one day.

    If it's a relationship you're looking for, this isn't it.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    You're one of her fallback guys until she's ready to actually date again,

    And when she is, chances are that you won't hear from her any longer. Until she becomes single again and wants some attention. I would keep your distance. She's not looking for a relationship from you.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Surrey BC, Canada
    I'm gonna go with friends zone. Break it off and move on.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    If you feel she's a distraction and your friendship with her feels uneasy and she's dating a guy for 3 - 4 years, do the honorable, gentlemanly thing by respectfully and graciously exiting the friendship. It's also out of respect for her boyfriend of 3 - 4 years. You can't change her. All you can do is do the right thing by exiting the friendship.

    She has moral issues which you need to start questioning why you would associate with someone who is the untrustworthy type? If you continue associating with those who are not good people, you don't know how to choose respectable people in your life wisely. Learn to discern.

    Don't pursue her. She has a boyfriend of 3 - 4 years so respect her boyfriend. Yes, block her out completely. Tell her it's time to go your separate ways and if she's relentless, then ghost, block and delete her.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    YOu are safety sex to her which is fine if you are happy with being just that, a friend with benefits but i dont think she has any long-term interest in you whatsoever.


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