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Thread: SOS - Iím very insecure.

  1. #1

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    SOS - Iím very insecure.

    Hello to all.
    Please be kind, itís taking a lot for me to come forward with this. No one is perfect right? We all have our flaws. I and my other half both have our flaws. Hell, we fight and then get along like itís no ones business. We fight about small stuff mainly. When something bothers me, I will take it and run with it for hours.... DAYS even. He is less like that, but loves to push my buttons at times and fuel the fire at times we arenít even fighting. I noticed when Iím on my best behavior, which I hate to admit... is not always. He is fantastic. When Iím down, heís down. When Iím mad, heís mad. Itís almost like Iím in control of the whole emotional rollercoaster. But, I have been like this my whole life. I feel like I have a mental disorder or I suffer from depression and Iím really good at hiding it and deflect it with anger. I just donít know how to cope with myself. I am more interested in a holistic approach to things. I am taking CBD, I listen to guided meditation, walking more and I have talked to a therapist which I hated and never went back 😭 Talking to family/friends sometimes makes it worse. The CBD is helpful, so is the guided meditation - but Iím on a real down right now and I rely on my other half to lift me up and when he doesnít I get upset. Letís be real here, even I know that IM IN CHARGE of my own emotions, not him... not my family, not friends, me.... I am. So, itís tough. I know Iím wrong for feeling that way, but I can stop feeling that way. SOS. I sound crazy, I promise Iím not lol

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I don't think you are crazy but I do think you need to see a therapist. If the previous one was not helpful, then try another one. I'm concerned about all of this fighting you say you and your other half do, that is never good.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    I do think you need to see a therapist. If the previous one was not helpful, then try another one.
    I agree with the above. If you've been this way your whole life then I highly doubt you'll be able to overcome it on your own. If you want this to change then you need the help of a professional (imo).

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Many people suffering with mood disorders don't get diagnosed until later in life and have suffered on "an emotional rollercoaster" for years.

    You need to see a physician for a complete workup and a referral to a licensed therapist for supportive care.

    People suffer for years using the do-it-yourself approach you are describing. Stop self-medicating and get to the cause and appropriate effective treatment.

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  6. #5
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    The first step is recognizing your own role in this, which you seem to be doing now. So, that is positive.

    As the others have wisely suggested, a good medical check-up and therapist are likely your next best steps. Something as deeply-ingrained as this behaviour seems to be is very difficult to manage on your own. Qualified and compassionate professionals can be an excellent resource though. I would go there next.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    The best and kindest thing you can do for yourself is get a proper diagnosis by going to a doctor, getting full physical diagnostics done and then a good psychiatrist, as in MD, if nothing physical is found.

    Once you are clear what specifically your issue is, then you can decide on treatment. Even if you want to stick to holistic treatments, you can't do it successfully if you don't know what it is you are trying to treat. Getting a proper diagnosis is critical. Also, consider working with a DO doctor as they focus more on the whole body and mind, holistic approach to medicine which can be effective if that's what you prefer or are more comfortable with. At least you will get proper guidance and medical support in the way that you want. Blindly medicating yourself with the current latest fad is really not going to get you the result that you want.

    In terms of therapists....it's like finding the right pair of shoes. You might have to try on more than a few before you find the right fit and the right approach. So keep an open mind for that option as well and don't toss it out just because you had tried one and hated it because it wasn't the right fit for you.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately CBD has been documented to precipitate manic episodes in undiagnosed mood disorders. It is also known to precipitate psychotic episodes in vulnerable individuals who have undiagnosed and untreated underlying mental health issues. CBD is a fad driven by money. It's therapeutic value has a narrow scope.
    Originally Posted by Brunette91
    I am taking CBD

  9. #8
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    You both are emotionally abusing each other....get some marriage counseling and learn to communicate properly and treat each other with respect and kindness. If there is any metal health issues, seek out help for that as well.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Unfortunately CBD has been documented to precipitate manic episodes in undiagnosed mood disorders. It is also known to precipitate psychotic episodes in vulnerable individuals who have undiagnosed and untreated underlying mental health issues. CBD is a fad driven by money. It's therapeutic value has a narrow scope.
    I agree with this. CBD/ THC are beta blockers, and prevent anti-depressants from working. My mom is manic but uses it for pain. The side effects are noticeable, ie: her memory is a mess and mood swings are bad...she is denial that it's from the CBD/THC she's been taking.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Any relationship or friendship filled with fighting and volatile temperaments is abnormal and mentally unhealthy. You remind me of my mother and sister. As long as I kowtow or tow the line, ingratiate myself, walk on eggshells and remain rather quiet, all is well. She and my sister are depressive types, unhappy with their lot in life and easily belligerent which is alarming. In other words, we're incompatible. Some people lack self control and empathy. They also lack emotional intelligence. Google "emotional intelligence." Without emotional intelligence, ALL relationships and friendships are doomed for failure.

    I agree, you're in charge of your own emotions. I've become an unemotional person when it comes to dealing with people because emotions cloud your judgment. It's okay to love but being an emotionally charged person in a negative way gets you into a lot of trouble. Step back, think first before you speak and write. Think how it will be received. If you're uncertain and in doubt, remain silent because you'll prevent arguments and fights this way.

    Learn how to treat people with respect because respect is love for your boyfriend, neighbor, friend, family and everyone. This is what "love thy neighbor" means. It means to treat everyone with respect and consideration. "Do unto others as they would do unto you" means the 'Golden Rule' of treating others as you would like to be treated which is the definition of respect.

    Stop, think long and hard and change the way you think. It's time to grow up and mature. Become mellow. Calm down. Then your relationships will become more peaceful, harmonious and serene.

    Also, think about whom you're dealing with. Avoid those who are belligerent, argumentative, gaslighting types and unreasonable. Respect is mutual. Only be with people who treat you right so you can treat them right, too. It works both ways whether friends or family. Keep that in mind.

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