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Thread: What should I Do

  1. #11
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    The term, I need to focus on myself/ourselves usually translates to, "I'm done." Rather than attempting to beat a dead horse, I'd work on upping my value, and focus towards moving forward.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Im going to translate what he said.

    "Umm, its over, Ive moved on and perhaps you should to"

    Not to be mean but this is what he is saying. I know confusion sets in when we think back to all the things our Xs said in the past. And in our minds we try to hold them accountable to all the promises they made. Like when our Xs say things like they will be there forever or cant see themselves with anyone else. All past promises about the future has to be tossed out the window because they don't matter anymore. They have to be swept up and placed in the same bin as the relationship. Im sorry but that's how they have to be looked at.
    If you can do this, it greatly reduces your confusion level and it will help you move on. And to be honest. Why would you want to be friends with an X anyway? They will find someone and more importantly you will find someone. Is it impossible to be friends with an X? Not at all, but before that can happen, all your desires to be with them must go away. Here is a good test. If they tell you that they found someone that they can marry and you are upset, jealous, angry at that news, then you are not ready to be friends with them. If you can go out and help them find someone they can marry or be happy for them when they do, then you can be friends with them.

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