Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: My boyfriend acts very careless lately

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jul 2020
    Posts
    2

    My boyfriend acts very careless lately

    I have a problem with my boyfriend. We are both in our 30s and we have been together for almost 3 years now. He used to be a very patient and absolutely good hearted, nice person. He was also much more mature than me. The past 6 months or so he has changed.

    He seems to forget about me a lot. Even when I'm with him it feels as if he's not really there with me if it makes sense. He's always in his own head and his memory is really bad. I am not sure if he doesn't care much about me anymore or if it's not about me at all, but it really hurts. He almost always cancels plans we have last minute now because he changed his mind. It's like he doesn't consider my feelings anymore. We've made plans to go on holiday several times now and I even took time off from work but we stayed home every time.

    We also argue A LOT now. Every day almost. It's always little things (just one time we had a big argument/fight). We argue about silly things. I don't know how to handle it because to me, these arguments are petty and ridiculous. They are misunderstandings for the most part.

    My birthday is tomorrow. We planned to have a nice dinner together to celebrate but yesterday he told me he is meeting a friend tomorrow, for dinner. I told him it's my birthday and we have plans, but even though he then remembered he still wants to see his friend instead. It's because they only see each other once a year. Me, he can see every day. I am sad about it but I understand. But this happens a lot. He never really puts me first anymore and I don't feel like I'm his girlfriend anymore. I wish I could talk to him about this but I feel so silly. I don't want to be unreasonable. The few times I've spoken up and told him I am disappointed, he has always told me I shouldn't have these expectations of him.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,044
    Gender
    Male
    Happy birthday. Sorry to hear this. What happened 6 mos ago? Do you live together? How come he sees you every day? Do you think there someone else?
    Originally Posted by luas
    He almost always cancels plans we have last minute now because he changed his mind.
    We also argue A LOT now. Every day almost.
    My birthday is tomorrow. We planned to have a nice dinner together to celebrate but yesterday he told me he is meeting a friend tomorrow, for dinner. I told him it's my birthday and we have plans, but even though he then remembered he still wants to see his friend instead.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jul 2020
    Posts
    2
    @Wiseman2: We don't live together but we live in the same city and see each other a lot. Sometimes just for lunch or for dinner but it's almost every day.
    I don't know what happened. He started to act different slowly. At first it was just some odd arguments or little comments he made but it got more regular and worse over time. I am not sure if he even likes me as a person anymore because he can be really mean and not recognize how much he hurts me.

    I don't think there is another woman involved. If he wanted to be with somebody else he would say so and not go behind my back. He has also said he does not want to break up. When I ask what's wrong, he says he's fine. When I ask if he still likes me he jokes around instead of saying anything positive. In the past, he has never done this.

    And thank you!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    2,531
    Happy Birthday, luas. It's time for a new boyfriend.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    10,674
    Iím sorry, OP. I think heís lost interest in the relationship and doesnít know how to tell you that he wants to end it.

    His indifference towards you is telling you that heís already emotionally checked out. You could try to speak to him about it, but I would brace yourself for a break-up. Something's changed for him and it sounds like heís hoping youíll get fed up and pull the plug so that he doesnít have to do it and feel guilty about it.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    2,160
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Happy Birthday, luas. It's time for a new boyfriend.
    This 100%^^^ your BF is such a coward, he is trying hard to make you breakup with him. It's plain as day. You deserve better hun. Dump his a$$ and go out with the girlies or guys, and dance the night away!

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,906
    I'm sorry.... this is really crummy of him and it speaks volumes.

    I would break it off today. put it very plainly, that it is completely obvious you are not a priority and cancelling your birthday plans is completely unacceptable.

    Furthermore, it is way too late to fix this. even if he says something to gas light you and say since you are being reasonable, he'll spend your bday with you.

    You should not "understand" as you say. All your doing is setting yourself up to be treated worse. Things generally only get worse, not better.

    Get away from this guy. You deserve better. Go salvage what you can of a bday... it will be painful. but be with your family and friends or whoever is in your bubble... the people that love you want to be with you on your bday.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,673
    Gender
    Female
    He's a jerk and I think he's lost interest in you and treating you poorly so you will break up with him. No excuse for how he's treating you.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    4,329
    Gender
    Female
    You've had discussions with zero results. Your asking him if he wanted to break up should have given him a wake up call that the relationship isn't what it should be, and that you've noticed. Who knows why he didn't take the out. People are complex. At this point though, since he won't pull the plug, why let him decide? Are you the one in the driver's seat of your life? No matter how things were at the beginning, the present has taken a dive, and it's stayed down for a full half a year. You're no longer a priority, and you shouldn't allow someone who is "mean," someone who repeatedly cancels dates, and someone who isn't "present" when you're right there next to him, to stay in your life.

  11. #10
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,858
    Gender
    Male
    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.


Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •