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Thread: ADVICE NEEDED: My deadbeat dads ex girlfriend keeps trying to contact me?? WHY?

  1. #1
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    ADVICE NEEDED: My deadbeat dads ex girlfriend keeps trying to contact me?? WHY?

    Why is my deadbeat dads ex girlfriend keeps trying to reach out to me?

    Some background:

    - she and her daughter lived with my dad growing up and he treated his step daughter significantly different than his bio children. His step daughter always had nice clothes and toys growing up, he would even purchase things for her in front of his own children. She was very lucky in the sense that his step daughters dad provided for her AND my dad provided for her as well. Her dad and my dad would always try to "outspend" eachother when it came to my step sister and that money was never extended to his biological children.

    - Before he ditched me completely my siblings and I would spend weekends at their house and his girlfriend at the time was annoyed about that because my dad had 7 bio kids visiting at once, I remember overhearing conversations about that. He eventually discarded some of us and I was one of the four that got cut off.

    (There are some siblings that I've never met in person/dont remember meeting in person because they initially tried to have us around in smaller groups like a rotation but that eventually failed and decisions needed to be made)

    This brought me unbelievable pain at a very young age that I still struggle with well into my adult life. This has brought so much damage into my siblings/my live/s. My older siblings were young parents, some of them in domestic abusive relationships, some of us had failing outs with our moms and ended up homeless, about three of my siblings have had suicide attempts and only two of us graduated high school/completed a GED program.

    Last night, she contacted me and I'm really confused WHY and what I should do about it. I can't wrap my head around why she would contact?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Maybe to inform you that your dad is sick or something along those lines?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Oh,..ex girlfriend...maybe she wants to get back into contact with him and thinks you might be able to help her do that?

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    I know it's not her fault and he had the ultimate say but my siblings and I were seen as outsiders of their family and having a vivid memory of her giving him this ultimatum, it feels like her interest in our lives stems from her wanting to see the fall out or end result.

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  6. #5
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Just tell her you have no interest in talking to her and go away.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    If that's true, then best to just ignore her.

  8. #7
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    She is currently pregnant and engaged to another man.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Because I'm a curious person, I probably would ask her (in a very guarded way), what she was wanting. But at the same time, not giving any kind of information away.

    Then if she was trying to find something out that I wasn't willing to share, I would wish her well and not reply again.

    But more than anything, I would be more curious over her reason for contacting with no real motive to actually talk with her.

  10. #9
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    I would suggest asking her why she is contacting you. Keep in mind that you are not under any obligation to actually start talking to her. You can just block her and never hear from her again.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You should ask her what she wants and take it from there.

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