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Thread: Is casual trash talk normal among friends

  1. #21
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I've been going through something similar. Sometimes insecure people think they are eliciting your confidence by talking about someone else. You might feel like you have something special between the two of you. But the reality is if these people will trash talk other people, they will just as easily trash talk about you.

    I have mix of friends. I've learned to listen and not add to the mix and then change the subject when ever possible.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I agree and I totally understand. When I was in graduate school, I was seated for a year next to two guys who I liked as people, but who were incessant complainers/gossipers. That's when I discovered how draining it was to be around people like that. The next year, I chose a seat where I was not within earshot of those two, and I felt so much better! By the third and final year of the program, others had caught on about these guys as well. We realized that one of the guys was worse than the other, and also that they didn't complain as much when they were apart. I still laugh when I think of the lengths we went through to keep the one guy totally out of our studio for the last semester.
    Yes, I have totally been there.
    I have had "friends" who did nothing but complain or gossip. When you're around it, you don't think it's that bad, or you try to justify when they do it.

    But once you are finally away from it and are around people who would rather talk about events, or travel or science, or books they've read or plans they have or anything else under the sun other than complaining or gossiping, you see a world of difference and it's really refreshing.

    To date, I have no more friends who waste their time gossiping. The friends I have now talk about anything else that has nothing to do with complaining, drama or gossip. I too find it very draining and I won't waste my time with it ever again.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    But the reality is if these people will trash talk other people, they will just as easily trash talk about you.
    Absolutely, 110%!!!

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