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Thread: Family visits

  1. #11
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    Boltnrun--Space is not an issue, she lives in a large house. The issues are the unsanitary conditions, arguments, shouting, and more. I know it sounds easy to simply say that I am going to start staying in a hotel, so that I don't burden her, but I know she really likes having me there, despite what is going on. I don't think she is aware of how uncomfortable I am with every visit. I manage to keep them to a minimum. I also know it will hurt her feelings as well as my grandson's feelings. He and I have are developing a close bond.
    Add to that, the fact that after all these years, I suddenly decide not too burden her. Whatever I decide, I know she will be very upset and will try to find out the real reason I don't want to stay. I want to avoid that at all cost.

  2. #12
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    Hollyj.......she argues with her dad. They argue over just about anything. She yells at her son a lot and he lacks proper supervision. He does his own thing. He doesn't like to play baseball so she belittles him in front of people and makes threats about taking his video games away unless he does such and such. It's embarrassing to him and I feel bad for him. Her father is sick, yes, but works from home. She plans to get a job and has had a job offer, but due CoVID, they have suspended hiring for the present time.
    I know it will hurt my grandson's feelings and hers as well, but I don't see any other way. I am just looking for a good reason to get out of staying there.
    She did work for a time, but returned to college where she graduated last May 2019.

  3. #13
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    j.man.....Yes, I could say that, but she would come back with, "I have a nice large garden tub that you can use." Then she would guilt trip me if I stated I preferred my shows over spending time with her and the grands. I am really in a pickle with this one!

  4. #14
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    jimthzz.....as her mother, I do help with the housework. The first night there, I went into the bathroom to take a shower, but the odor of urine was so bad, I couldn't even use it. So, I found some cleaning products and proceeded to clean her bathroom. Still, the odor persisted. I gave up. I took a shower the next morning in her bathroom.
    I have dusted, vacuumed, washed dishes, tidy up her home, swept and mopped, but I feel I only make a dent. With four animals, I notice things she doesn't. I see the poop on the floor and the other 'accidents'. I clean it up as soon as I see it. I don't wait on her. I think one reason the guest bathroom has such a strong urine odor is because my grandson likes to pee on the walls for entertainment. I see the streaks on the walls. It is disgusting.
    The friend is worthless and is another moocher. If I were to ask my grandson for help, my daughter would go off on me. Then I run the risk of overstepping my boundaries.
    Heck, I got yelled out for kissing my new grandbaby! You have no idea that dysfunction in that home.

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  6. #15
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    melancholy123........yes I could tell her that. She will then ask me to define what I mean by 'atmosphere'. Here's where I need your help.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Sweet Sue
    Heck, I got yelled out for kissing my new grandbaby! You have no idea that dysfunction in that home.
    You do realise that you shouldn’t kiss a baby right?? Are you aware as to why?

    How long have you been separated from your daughters father and why?

    And why would you ever stay there in the first instance?

    Why has your daughter chosen to stay with her father and not your pristine house?

    There are too many odd flaws in this story that don’t add up to me? Please clarify?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Since you don't live there, it's none of your business. Stay in the hotel and if you want even more drama and contention tell your daughter and her father the place is too disgusting for you.

    Do you ever invite them to stay with you and your father?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    I agree with Capricorn.

    "I know I may get flamed for this, but I would call CPS as this is no way a baby/children should be brought up in such an unsanitary environment together with all the screaming and yelling etc etc. It sounds horrendous. My heart goes out to the children. It's just not right (imo)."

    Sue:

    You don't need to give any reason. You always seemed scared of your D. If you must go there again then book into a hotel in advance. No need to consult her.

  10. #19
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    I too, agree with contacting CPS. This sounds like a really toxic environment .

  11. #20
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    The emotional damage she is doing to her son and the disgusting environment warrant a CPS call.

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