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Thread: He says he will never speak to me again

  1. #1
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    He says he will never speak to me again

    My guy dumped me via text for calling his friend when he wouldn't answer my calls. I know at the time he was with his friend and I texted him to tell him that I would call his friend because I needed to speak with him. The friend dis not pick up or answer my text. Was I wrong for calling the friend? Is him saying he never wants to speak with me warranted because I did? I haven't reached out him but I'm baffled that such would be the end of our relationship. We just got back together 2 months ago trying the long distance thing. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
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    We need more background info:

    Why wasn't he answering your calls? Had something happened between you, or was he ghosting you?

    What did you need to speak to him about right in that moment that you tried to contact his friend - was it urgent?

    Why did you break up before? You say you got "back together" which implies this isn't the first time it's ended.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why is it long distance? It sounds like he's done and yes tracking down the friend is crossing boundaries. It seems he may think you are too clingy and trying to text-tether him.

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    There was no reason for not answering. We had a great week. The call was not urgent. I was just troubled by the fact that he was online and on another call and did not pick up to see what was my urgency when the week before he picked up a girl's call out of annoyance because she kept calling. Before we just never spoke. My last conversation with him was since you don't feel like talking, call me when you want to talk. We ran into each other 6 months later since that last convo and he's s been reaching out on and off since November. Finally around mother's day I thought maybe he was serious and decided to give it chance but I had alreadt moved out of state and he said that did not bother him. And for the 4th of July I spent the week with him. This was where his phone was ringing like crazy and he picked the girl up in front of me out of annoyance. That kinda gave us a fallout but we made up before I left. Came back and we were great and on Friday we didn't speak during the day so I called and no answer. I texted no answer, 3 hous later still no answer. I felt some type of way that he woukd pick up that girl's call but not mine and told him this and said I would call the friend. He came back and said that's the last time you will do such a thing and when I said called me, he said never. We haven't spoken since.

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    I wound up moving since we had stopped talking for a while. I did get erratic. This has never happened before. I'm not sure what came over me. And clearly now I can't make up for it or ask for forgiveness. I'm just so crushed. Has any guy ever come back? I've known women who have done worse and their guy has not dumped them. Why wouldn't he at least have a convo where we ensure something like that never happens again?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you dating /in a relationship or just seeing how it goes?

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    We're boyfriend and girlfriend. If we were just dating, my expectations would be different. I used to go days not hearing from him and that did not phase me. We had stopped talking for months and I was still unbothered but yet Friday night I just felt like he didn't prioritize me and went bezerk with the calling him and then called his friend once as a last resort.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Since this wasn't some major emergency that required his immediate attention, then you had no right to demand that he speak to you the way that you did. Calling/texting his friend to force the issue was completely out of line. Your behavior is over the top and he is well within rights to want nothing more to do with you.

    That said, sounds like there is a long and toxic history here between you and him. High time for you to let this go and find yourself a better man. You know, one who doesn't drive you into acting crazy and one you don't have to chase, push, pull, worry about other women with, etc. Raise your standards instead of making yourself nuts.

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    You're right. I wish I could take it all back. I see that there's a first time for everything. But would you not at least talk to the girl and officially break up? Would you technically ever contact her back to see if indeed there was an urgency? Would you not pick up a call when you know you had no issues with your girl?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dazz
    You're right. I wish I could take it all back. I see that there's a first time for everything. But would you not at least talk to the girl and officially break up? Would you technically ever contact her back to see if indeed there was an urgency? Would you not pick up a call when you know you had no issues with your girl?
    The problem with your question is that you want someone who is toxic and doesn't seem to care to behave in a way that would be decent and reasonable. It's not going to happen. This is why I said that as much as you acted poorly, his behavior drove your actions and that's why you need to drop this guy. It's like expecting a poisonous snake to cuddle with you and make the poison go away after it bites you. You can want that all day long, but it's never going to happen.

    Walk away, just do it. YOU decide that this is not how you want to be treated and that he isn't good enough for you. Give yourself some power.

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