Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 16 of 16

Thread: Over a month on, having a bad day. Please help.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    4,045
    How are you doing, Alice? Hope today is a better day.

  2. #12
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    983
    My heart goes out to you, AceAlice. I know exactly what you are going through and how you feel. Know that what you are feeling is totally normal. There will be some days when you feel like you've made some progress, and other days when you feel like you're back on square one. You suffered a loss and you have to allow yourself time to grieve. You will experience a rollercoaster of emotions. One day at a time and baby steps. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel but you must give yourself time. It's like a cut. In order to heal, it needs time.

    "...days like this make me want to give up." No, no, NO!!!! Never ever give up. Through will power, patience and perseverance you will get over the hurdle. You can do it.

    Like you, I somehow never imagined that someone that I loved so deeply was going to blindside me. I sincerely never thought that my ex was going to ask for a divorce. I never loved another man like I loved him. We were married for 29 years; divorced for almost 1.5 years. At first, I was devastated, terrified, hurt; all kinds of raw emotions and feelings. I struggled to keep myself afloat. But, I was determined to not be defeated. Little by little, I have healed. I'm still healing. Trust me when I say that your heartache will lessen but it will take time. How much time? It depends on the individual. It's an awful way to live but there's no magic button.

    So, know that time will definitely lessen the pain. Your broken heart will slowly mend. Time, my friend, is the magic key. Be kind to yourself, take good care of yourself. One day, you will find someone who will love you the way that you deserved to be loved. In the meantime, hang in there as best you can, OK? Stay safe.

  3. #13
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Posts
    44
    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    You say that you feel lousy and have confirmed that it's likely because you were in contact with your ex.

    So what was the contact about? Was it settling practical matters or just indulgent?
    I haven't initiated contact since I put a boundary in place that I cannot be friends at this stage as I have to look after myself and move on.

    I was messaged by my ex in regards to an old shirt and a puzzle I had bought for her that we did together and I got it framed for her. She asked if I wanted them back. I said no, the puzzle is here and the shirt can be tossed. I also reiterated that I cannot be on contact right now because I am trying to heal myself and focus on myself. This seemed to piss her off as I wished her well and happiness and she simply said that she hopes I'm doing what makes me happy. I know this is passive aggressive coming from her, and left it be.

  4. #14
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Posts
    44
    Thank you everyone for your words. I'm still struggling but in struggling I'm not giving up. I've cried every day for the past few days. I miss her beyond my ability to comprehend, and now that I'm sick also, it's getting harder to handle my emotions. We were always there for each other when we were unwell, so the memories of her caring for me are coming back with a vengeance. I'm okay though, I know this will pass, and like my physical illness, my heart ache too shall heal with time.

    I guess being in the midst of this dark place just makes it hard to believe that things will get better. No matter how much I convince myself things will get better, I'm still stuck. I keep going to play with my engagement ring but it's no longer on my finger and that realisation hurts. The commitment I gave to her hurts because when I said forever I meant it. But this is life now.

    With or without her, the world keeps turning.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    983
    Just to let you know that I'm thinking about you and admire you for your strength, AceAlice. Keep up the good work, be good to yourself, and take good care of yourself. Hope that you feel better physically.

    BTW, are you familiar with the Stages of Grief? If not, check this out: [Register to see the link]

  7. #16
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Posts
    44
    Originally Posted by goddess
    Just to let you know that I'm thinking about you and admire you for your strength, AceAlice. Keep up the good work, be good to yourself, and take good care of yourself. Hope that you feel better physically.

    BTW, are you familiar with the Stages of Grief? If not, check this out: [Register to see the link]
    Thank you Goddess. I have read about the stages of grief, and the cycle makes sense to me. Right now I feel like I'm going through so many of the stages at the same time. It's a nightmare!

    Dreams are weird these days. I know it's my subconscious trying to sort through things, but my gosh, it's painful. I'm constantly chasing her in them, or she is some sort of mean person and hurts me emotionally in my dreams. Ive never experienced this before in a break up, so I'm unsure how to handle it.

    The bad days come, but so do the better days. Mornings are evil, but most days I level out as the hours pass. I guess it's just a matter of letting time do its thing, and supporting myself and my feelings in the process.

    I dont wish this feeling on anyone.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •