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Thread: Shes 8 years older

  1. #1

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    Shes 8 years older

    My girlfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for about 4 years. Im 26 and shes 34. We both make a good income and feel like we are ready to get married and start a family.
    My family and friends have been driving me insane trying to convince me that the age gap is too much. Saying that i wont see it now but down the road when we are 45/53 or 60/68 it will be harder on me. Am i not seeing something? Has anyone been in an age gap relationship and still make it till their 60s together?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    8 years is not that much. There are literally millions of couples within 5-10 year age gap. It's actually quite normal.

    Your fam is full of it.

  3. #3
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    There is 13 years between my husband and me. I'm 36 and he is 49. Been together 11 and a half years and still going strong. Had a baby this year and been married for five.
    Do what you want to do and not your friends and family. If they cared for your happiness they would respect your relationship.
    If you break up just to please everyone else then you might regret it. You don't live to please others.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    honestly your relationship is your business.

    I would guess your family thinks they are helping you, but they're actually not. Who you marry is solely up to you. If you end a happy, loving relationship, that makes you happy, because of other's opinions. then you are probably too immature to be married.

    keep your relationship and all its inner workings between you and the other person. period.

    My grandparents were 11 years apart and perfectly happy together.

    the heck with them. you live for you. that's the only way to be truly happy.

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  6. #5
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    The only consideration about the age gap is that you MUST be on the same page about kids. you need to talk seriously. You can't be "maybe someday" - you would have to be on the same page about not using birth control once married and at what point do you want to move from that to trying. You can't decide when you are 35 that you suddenly want kids. As you get older, 8 years will be nothing. no one bats an eye at a 60 and 68 year old together.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Out of curiosity, what is the age difference between your parents who protest so much? An 8 year age gap is quite common where I live. However, it's usually the man who is older and then no-one bats an eyelash. Women tend to outlive men and it sounds like you are on the same page about starting a family so, actually, the age gap is not an issue in your case. It would have been an issue if you were not on the same page regarding starting a family but you stated that you are.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It may be more a gender reversal age issue (sexist and ageist). Ie. The man shouldn't be so much younger than the woman type of deal.

    Take things with a pinch of salt. In other words, don't take everything literally or eat up everything people have to say. It's not they who are living your life. Your family may have your best interests at heart but it's coming out in crass or insensitive ways. They may also be thinking about her childbearing years and the smaller window she has compared to younger women.

    How is this affecting your partner? Does she know?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sounds like a standard busy- body warning since you told people how serious you are and the marriage thing.

    Only you can decide.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Tell the family and friends to mind their own business. Plain and simple.

    That age gap is immaterial. You, and not your family and friends, are marrying this woman.

    Good luck.

  11. #10
    Silver Member rippedinsides's Avatar
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    My husband is 10 years younger to me and we've been married 4 years. We have an amazing relationship. Yes, people did have a lot to say when we decided to tie the knot. And there are still people who look at us like we're crazy. But we're happy - we deal extremely well together and understand each other. It ultimately comes down to how good your relationship is, rather than age. If you are with someone who is socially acceptable in age, there's no guarantee that you're going to deal well together. It's about you two in the end.


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