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Thread: Living in harmony with opposite traits

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
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    So he's a neat freak, but won't clean?
    NNNNNNOOOOOPPPEEEEE. That's a nope for choosing him as a lifelong partner. What a horrible horrible entitled view he has. You are not the maid. I don't care if he's the sole provider. I have been the sole provider about half of our marriage, and I still do my 50% of cleaning and childcare.

    A true testament of a good partnership is how your are in best of times and worst of times. He should be supporting you having time with friends. And in the worst of times, he needs to pitch in and keep filling the pot where and when he can. I don't see him as a good guy for you. I'm sure you've put in time and dedication together, but when the going gets tough, the tough get going - not verbally bash you and put you down every minute they can.

  2. #22

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    I made a list of daily chores for covid home time because I was going crazy. I have been going by them for over 3 months and it has been helpful keeping me on track. I have never been one to go off a list, but my other half is a neat freak (and Iím not a messy person - but Iím not a ďneat freakĒ) and we havenít had any differences when it comes to cleaning very much in the last few months. So, maybe you could try something like that?

  3. #23
    Bronze Member quark's Avatar
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    Just wanted to come back and update. Things have been better between us, we are "talking it out" all the time. He is still frustrating me because he just doesn't seem to "get it" with certain aspects, but our day to day interactions are much improved. We are going to go through a book called "couple skills" to improve our communication and reactions.

    Maybe you all will be right (like you were with my ex!), but I am just not one to jump ship so quickly. I am realizing that coronavirus craziness has a lot to do with all this, and we are both hurting right now. That hurt isn't getting addressed or resolved, so it's just snowballing and materializing into petty arguments. I will say, after going through a 7 year relationship that should have ended after the first year, I am much more cautious and I think it will be easier for me to call a spade a spade instead of wasting years trying to make it work.

    I want to thank everyone for their feedback, it is really helpful in the moment when I feel like I'm going crazy. I am on the job hunt and I have a few interviews coming up, so I'm coming out of my dark hole on that one.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by quark
    I will say, after going through a 7 year relationship that should have ended after the first year, I am much more cautious and I think it will be easier for me to call a spade a spade instead of wasting years trying to make it work.
    .
    Doesn't look like it.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Mar 2019
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    Originally Posted by quark
    Just wanted to come back and update. Things have been better between us, we are "talking it out" all the time. He is still frustrating me because he just doesn't seem to "get it" with certain aspects, but our day to day interactions are much improved. We are going to go through a book called "couple skills" to improve our communication and reactions.

    Maybe you all will be right (like you were with my ex!), but I am just not one to jump ship so quickly. I am realizing that coronavirus craziness has a lot to do with all this, and we are both hurting right now. That hurt isn't getting addressed or resolved, so it's just snowballing and materializing into petty arguments. I will say, after going through a 7 year relationship that should have ended after the first year, I am much more cautious and I think it will be easier for me to call a spade a spade instead of wasting years trying to make it work.

    I want to thank everyone for their feedback, it is really helpful in the moment when I feel like I'm going crazy. I am on the job hunt and I have a few interviews coming up, so I'm coming out of my dark hole on that one.
    Good for you for reading a bit more and being open to learn. I hope he is too. I also hope the mutual respect is restored. Couples do go through rough patches but it shouldn't be protracted or abusive.

    Good work too on those interviews! Stay positive. If you need tips and suggestions for job interviews post them on the forum too. I'm sure there are members who will have feedback on tricky questions or tips on how to answer through some situations.

    Very happy for you.

  7. #26
    Bronze Member quark's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Doesn't look like it.
    have a great day my friend

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