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Thread: Kissing and drinks with a former work colleague who is emotionally unavailable

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Waiting for what?
    Originally Posted by richdeniro
    left me in her flat waiting on the sofa - I'm not sure if she sobered up or the alcohol had made her feel sick but we went to bed and basically passed out.
    Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Waiting for what?
    She had asked him to go to her place. And she popped over to a neighbour . Who knows why? The OP certainly doesn’t and neither do we.
    Waiting for what? For her to return of course?
    Afterall she asked him if he had contraception and she asked him to hers.

    What would you have done oh wiseman?

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Waiting for what?
    Waiting for her to return.

  4. #14
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    I think she added me to her restricted list on Facebook yesterday or today so I guess I can definitely write off ever hearing from her again.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Start fresh, it was just one date.
    Originally Posted by richdeniro
    I think she added me to her restricted list on Facebook yesterday or today so I guess I can definitely write off ever hearing from her again.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    They were both drunk and passed out later.. He was waiting around on her sofa hoping she didn't sober up too much.

    A 40 y/o man who gets drunk on a first date demonstrates immaturity, lack of self control and inconsiderateness to his date.

    She blocked him to distance herself from the whole embarrassing debacle. So there is plenty to suggest too much alcohol was involved.

    Originally Posted by calichick007
    there's nothing in his post suggesting he tried to have sex with someone too drunk to consent

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by richdeniro
    I think she added me to her restricted list on Facebook yesterday or today so I guess I can definitely write off ever hearing from her again.
    Yes, I would say that's probably fairly accurate.

    Out of curiosity, how did you figure out she did so?

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Yes, I would say that's probably fairly accurate.

    Out of curiosity, how did you figure out she did so?
    Had a look at her profile and all I could see was public posts and everything else that I was able to see previously wasn't visible. Today she unfriended me completely on it.

  10. #19
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    Contrary to other posters attempting to insinuate that you are some sort of sexual predator who was lying in wait for her to return to her apartment so you could take advantage of her in her inebriated state, I don't see that at all. What is obvious is that you are two consenting adults who had too much to drink.
    However, what I think happened is that she got in waayyyy over her head and realized it as soon as she got you back to her apartment. She most likely started to regret inviting you there for sex and was hoping you might take a hint and make yourself scarce while she was at the neighbor's place. Waking up and moving to another bedroom while you were still there further supports that.
    I myself have done this before while in the throes of a breakup. In my younger years, I thought that the cure to getting over an ex was occupying myself with someone else. However, even as I was getting some guy interested in coming home with me, I would begin to realize that it wasn't my ex coming home with me and this random person would just be a temporary fix and that I would be even more miserable afterward. I've snuck away from guys that I was flirting with 2 minutes before, and I have pretended to "fall asleep" before the deed can happen only to quietly slink out when the coast is clear.

    I guess what I am trying to say is this - she isn't over her ex, she responded to you in the heat of the moment by suggesting sex to try and make herself feel better, but then regretted it because she isn't over her ex. It honestly wasn't about you. I'm sure she is also embarrassed by how drunk she got and wants to forget the whole thing happened, which means removing you (a reminder of her embarrassment) from her social media. Don't text her, don't message her; instead, focus your energy on someone who is in the right head space to date. And avoid alcohol if you aren't able to drink socially without getting wasted on a first date.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by richdeniro
    Had a look at her profile and all I could see was public posts and everything else that I was able to see previously wasn't visible. Today she unfriended me completely on it.
    Well, I guess that removes any lingering doubts about where her head is at.

    I wonder if her ex is actually still in the picture in some capacity and she feels guilty for bringing another guy home. Whatever the case, let this be the cue not to reach out to her at all anymore.

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