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Thread: Do I have Co-dependancy issue?

  1. #11
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    Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply to this post. I have studied each one of your responses and it is truely amazing how much all of your responses have opened my eyes to different things.
    I cannot thank you all enough.

    I admit that I am the first to blame myself for things. Over the past few days since posting this thread I have made a conscious effort to not allow myself to do so. I'm trying to find the balance between admitting my faults and working on them, and blaming myself for actions and things i do.

    I have come to dislike the word "blame". I think self reflection and responsibility for my actions better suits. I am not to blame for what happened, but I am responsible for my part in things. If i think of it this way, taking responsibility for my own actions, and realizing that others are responsible for their actions, blame can't really be applied.
    Yes, I chose to stay in relationships that were not good for me. Yes, I was hurt. That was my desicion to stay, and it is my future responsibility to learn from it and protect myself.

    My picker is broken, my self esteem is slowly growing, my self love is slowly getting there. Taking responsibility for my actions really is forcing me to see that I, as a woman, as a human, don't know who I really am at this current point in time. And that's okay, because i will know who I am, I will continue to grow and learn and tske responsibility for myself, for my actions, for my life. I WON'T however take responsibility for the actions of others any longer.

    You are all incredible people, and I thank you all so much.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AceAlice
    Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply to this post. I have studied each one of your responses and it is truely amazing how much all of your responses have opened my eyes to different things.
    I cannot thank you all enough.

    I admit that I am the first to blame myself for things. Over the past few days since posting this thread I have made a conscious effort to not allow myself to do so. I'm trying to find the balance between admitting my faults and working on them, and blaming myself for actions and things i do.

    I have come to dislike the word "blame". I think self reflection and responsibility for my actions better suits. I am not to blame for what happened, but I am responsible for my part in things. If i think of it this way, taking responsibility for my own actions, and realizing that others are responsible for their actions, blame can't really be applied.
    Yes, I chose to stay in relationships that were not good for me. Yes, I was hurt. That was my desicion to stay, and it is my future responsibility to learn from it and protect myself.

    My picker is broken, my self esteem is slowly growing, my self love is slowly getting there. Taking responsibility for my actions really is forcing me to see that I, as a woman, as a human, don't know who I really am at this current point in time. And that's okay, because i will know who I am, I will continue to grow and learn and tske responsibility for myself, for my actions, for my life. I WON'T however take responsibility for the actions of others any longer.

    You are all incredible people, and I thank you all so much.
    Yay, you! Most of us learned at some point a defensive position of taking up someone else's critical voice in our own head. This becomes an invisible judge and jury that we walk around trying to answer to, and it forms a habit of anticipating a degree of criticism that, frankly, nobody else is really interested enough to apply.

    When you can liberate yourself from being your own worst adversary, you can relax into discovering your own private ethics, and then you can just live by those. That simplifies things a LOT.

    Head high, you're doing great!

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