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Thread: My girlfriend is not interested in hanging out

  1. #1

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    My girlfriend is not interested in hanging out

    Hi,
    I have a long distance relationship for roughly 1 month now and I really like her so much. But since weeks now she is different to me. We did not talk in voice chat or video chat for 2 weeks now. Everytime I try to initiate she refuses, and she also never asks me for it. Before that we spent basically every night together and she was also more clingy that I was I would say. I asked her about what is wrong several times, I even asked her to just break up with me if she is no longer interested because I'm too much in love with her to be able to do that, but everytime I bring this up she just apologises, says I am right and says she still loves me... But nothing changes. She said the reason for not having time for me is that she is stressed with uni and tired because of it, but her last exam was a while ago now and nothing changed. Then she said she is emotionally tired by her friends in real life and just wants to play a game at the end of the day (a game I have but didn't play at that time). Some time later I even said I would play that game with her, but she still rather played alone one time and played with other people a second time when I asked her...
    I really don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to lose her and I don't want to complain again, since I did that already like 5 times. I tried everything, say what bothers me, say what I feel, leave her alone (so it is not that I am being too clingy), nothing helps. So since weeks we only text daily a little bit, but also not even that much. She initiates that sometimes, but that's it.

    Btw I am pretty sure she is not a deceitful or bad person, so I'm sure she does not have another guy.

    We are both 20
    Can anyone help me please?

  2. #2
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    Before I comment further, can you tell us if you have ever met her in person?

  3. #3

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    No I Couldnt yet, we wanted to meet in August but it's not possible this year.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's best to have real friends in real life, just as she told you she was doing. Many people do not want cyber relationships.

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  6. #5
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    I think it's safe to say that she just does not view this as a real relationship, and is quickly losing interest in carrying on a cyber romance.

    You've already spoken to her about this several times and nothing has changed. There are no plans to meet in person any time soon. It's time to unplug and detach from her; the likelihood that this will have a happy ending is nearly zero, man. This is why it's never a good idea to commit yourself to a person you have never met offline. It just doesn't last.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    There are so many cons in LTRs that I would rarely recommend them. If a person doesn't make an equal effort in a relationship, there is no need to nag and plead. You take that info for what it is. The person just isn't that into you and you need to end things. Being a passive bystander in your own life and letting other people make decisions for you is being spineless, and that isn't a trait anybody finds appealing.

    Make sure you have a fulfilling life besides have a gf so that she's not your only source of a social life, which ends up being smothering to her.

    You cannot love someone you never met. It's called a crush on someone you believe you know, but that's not possible until you've met in person and spent a considerable amount of time together.

    When social distancing lessens and it's safe to do so, try local dating. Meetup.com is a good place for that. See what's available in your area. Good luck.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    To be desirable is to be less available. Pull back, post things on social media of you hanging out with friends, having a life, having fun, girls in the pics, you keeping busy doing stuff.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok talking for a couple of weeks is not dating no less a relationship. Particularly if you have never met. She is most likely dating locally. Let go of this.

    Try to round out your local life instead of wasting more time online, particularly playing games like posting pics of girls to make her jealous. She is simply not that interested in continuing the chitchat.
    Originally Posted by Sajon332
    No I Couldnt yet, we wanted to meet in August but it's not possible this year.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    She probably decided being in a "relationship" with her computer keyboard, video camera and microphone was not fulfilling.

    It's much more fulfilling to be in a relationship with someone you can see in person, hug, hold hands with, kiss, etc.

    Current situation doesn't allow for that in many places, but once it is safe to do so I recommend meeting young women in person and going on actual dates.

  11. #10
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    Hey! If you don't have any reason to doubt her, then believe her. If she's going under a lot of stress, then she could be taking it out on you. Which is not right, but it happens. Maybe you could talk to her and tell her that you are there for her to talk and to support her. Maybe try to show interest in her day, know what I mean? Make it about her.

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