Ohhh dear... So sorry you re experiencing this :(. Yes, it hurts.. but so much was wrong.
And since YOU were emotionally invested, it WILL hurt you for a while, until you get over this experience.

I will explain from my end.. what you endured.

"My ex boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. We dated for a year. I literally cry everyday, I cannot stop thinking about him. I feel physically sick, and things haven't eased up at all since the breakup. I know that when a breakup happens, you should take it seriously and assume that its over for good.
But I am holding on to hope because I love him. < Please dont do this. Was wrong from the start :/
This is the first man that I (sort of) lived with. The first man I saw a future with. I wanted more time with him..

Here is our last conversation dated 06/13:

Me: So, just to confirm. You're okay with salvaging a friendship.. just as long as we both have a mutual understanding that it's just that and nothing more?

Him: Yes we can be friends

Me: So there is absolutely no chance for us at all?

Him: I don't know. I need time.

Me: Okay, I respect that. And honestly, I need time too. But if you feel in your heart that there is no chance, please say that. My love is reserved for you until you say otherwise. Have a good night, take care of yourself

Him: You too

Before that text message, I called him and we stayed on the phone for about 2 hours. He still has some of my things, we have not yet made arrangements for me to pick them up. I told him that I didn't want things to be done between us, but he assured me that things are in fact overr. I told him that we did not exhaust all options, and that maybe time away is a good thing for the both of us. I asked for us to reflect and maybe ease back into things later.
He told me that he doesn't see that happening
and if it did, it would be in the distant future...I haven't been in contact with him for 19 days.
I am willing to correct my downfalls and work on myself so that I can be a different (better) person if I ever get a chance. But if I don't... how long should I wait before I ask if things are final?

~>.. Okay... It is NOT You. It is on him. You dont need to correct anything in this.. HE was not ready to be involved again.
And Do NOT think of contacting him again - to ask IF things are final.
They are. he has told you this already.


Here is a little more context:
He was emotionally withdrawn. I was full of love. I gave it my all. We were together for a year, in that year, he never told me that he loved me.
> Never told you because he was not in love with you. He got involved while still into his Ex. Way too soon! YOU were ready emotionally, he was not.

I asked him why he didn't love me, and he told me it's because he did not feel that strongly for me but he's emotionally slow and feelings for him takes time.
> This, is something you just dont do. You do not approach them and EXPECT to hear of their love for you.. UNLESS they really do, and it should be said within a year.. If not, they do not feel that deeply for you.
My heart shattered.
I always felt like his second choice compared to his ex.( You were) :/ He was with her for 3 years and wanted to marry her, but she didn't so they walked away from one another. I came into the picture shortly afterwards (about 3 months after). I felt like his heart was somewhere else. ( It was ..still with her) NEVER get into someone when they are still getting over an ex.
And no matter how many times I questioned him, he told me I was not a rebound and the only people who matter in our relationship is us.
> A lie.. and likely to try & get you to stop buggin him about it.

He told me that he no longer had feelings for her. He "buried" those feelings long ago. Yet he would stay in contact with her.
> Again, a Lie.. and deep down I think you knew it.

I was extremely self conscious but I tried not to let it bother me.. but it did, and I could not relax in our relationship. I kept wanting to have conversations about our relationship to check if everything was alright, or was there something else I could be doing for us.. but apparently I brought it up so much it bothered him and he started to get annoyed with me.
> Yes, and doing this just added to the stressors on him & expectations when the bugger should have NEVER gotten involved or led someone on when he is still messd up over another woman!
I was trying to make something work, but he was cold at times and when he got cold, I got anxious and irritated, and we would bicker.I am only telling you the bad part of our relationship. We had wonderful and loving times together, but my insecurities weighed heavy

Anyways.. This is all something YOU need to work on accepting.
I am sorry he led you on & for so long :(.
what you are experiencing now is anxiety.. and if it does not ease off in another month or 2, I suggest you get in and talk with your doctor,
I was put on anxiety meds a cpl times to help get thru some really hard times :(.

We are human.. We feel. YOU are hurt.

But best thing to do now.. if work on ACCEPTING this is done.
Stay NO contact.. You will NEVER hear what you want to hear from this.. loser!

Get yourself back to good again.. can take many, many months.. Think of YOU now.

Someday I believer you WILL find someone who is more decent & respectful & actually does care :)

One day at a time,